Time to go get your shine box, folks.
I no longer wish to have my Ranked lists published on Deadspin and/or Kotaku. Well, that’s bullshit, because I do, but instead of trying to rank things in a reverse ordered list I figured I would do something new that leads to less arguments: doing a tier list!
Tier lists are something I encountered in the fighting game community, where people would rank from F to S the strength of characters in a fighting game. So, why not incorporate that system to other things?
Now because I LOVE Scorsese movies, and cameos from his family, and because we’ve already done enough lists on Stan Lee cameos on the net, this should suffice. I’ve seen almost all of his films (I can’t bring myself to watch Kundun guys, sorry), read Ebert’s book on him, and wrote several essays about the man himself in film school. I’m about as good a person to do this job.
Not to hate on Stan Lee, by the way, he’s my idol, and the man is a legend. It’s just that they’re all funny! There are no bad Stan Lee cameos, and Scorsese’s are NOT all great. So there’s a need to do this. And I know this is because when doing research, I found its a fucking ghost town on the internet. No joke, for a famous person with a big following, doing a fun thing people love, why hasn’t this been catalogued before? What the hell are you all doing with your lives, I’m very upset at you stupid people and now I get to be the official Neil Armstrong of ranking Scorsese cameos.
My criteria for these is somewhat arbitrary: how good the material you’re in is, how funny the role is, how much screen time, and how memorable. That’s about it. And also, you must be a Scorsese family member doing a cameo. Doesn’t matter what, and heavy points off for playing a character with a name in the cast. There is a difference between acting and cameos, we all know this. For instance, Marty played a puffer fish in Shark Tale. That is not a cameo, that is a role. So this list also includes his mother and father Catherine and Charles, because they are Scorsese’s too and their cameos rival Martin’s own. Deal with it, this is my article and if you want to do your own, go for it, I got all the SEO traffic before you, so there.
F TIER — NOBODY HAS SEEN THESE, NOT EVEN ME, LET’S STOP KIDDING OURSELVES HERE PEOPLE
- Marty as Mafioso #1 in Cannonball
- Marty as the TV director in The Pope’s Eye
- Marty as Vincent Van Gogh in Dreams
- Marty as Martin Rittenhome in Quiz Show
- Marty as the accountant in Search and Destroy
D TIER — HE WAS IN THAT? WHERE? DID I MISS IT?
- Marty as Thug #2 in Who’s That Knocking at my Door?
- Marty as Jimmy Shorts in Mean Streets
- Marty as the man in the cafeteria in Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore
- Marty as a gigolo in Shine a Light
- Marty as the man in the green van in The King of Comedy
- Marty as the man walking a dog in Color of Money
- Marty as Isaiah in Last Temptation of Christ
- Marty as himself in With Friends Like These…
C TIER — FOR CINEPHILES AND SCORSESE NUTS ONLY
- Marty as Charlie in Mean Streets
- Marty as the projectionist for Hell’s Angels in The Aviator
- Marty as the dude having his picture taken with Lionel in New York Stories
- Marty as the guy playing pool in Color of Money
- Marty as John on the phone in The Wolf of Wall Street
- Marty as this random dude in Silence:
We don't talk enough about Scorsese's blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo in the closing chapter of Silence. pic.twitter.com/NsUWJghNtK
— Ian Mantgani (@mant_a_tangi) March 15, 2017
- Marty as the stagehand in Raging Bull:
- Marty as that guy on the street in Taxi Driver
- Marty as this wealthy homeowner in Gangs of New York
- Marty as the brothel customer in Boxcar Bertha
B TIER — MARTY’S PARENTS GET IN THE MIX NOW
- Charles Scorsese as the first man at the bar in King of Comedy, Charlie in Raging Bull, and a high roller in Color of Money
- Catherine Scorsese as the woman in the cafe in The Godfather 3, woman on landing in Mean Streets, Piscano’s mother in Casino, and the customer at the bakery in Moonstruck
- Marty plays himself in The Player
- Marty plays himself in Curb Your Enthusiasm
- Marty plays himself in Entourage
- Marty as the TV director in King of Comedy
- Marty as the dispatcher in Bringing Out the Dead
A TIER — NOW THAT’S A SPICY CAMEO
- Marty as the photographer in Age of Innocence
- Marty as the man with the searchlight in After Hours
- Catherine Scorsese as Rupert Pupkin’s mother in The King of Comedy
- Marty as the cameraman in Hugo
- Catherine Scorsese as the lady in the cafe in After Hours
S TIER — DID YOU EVER SEE WHAT A .44 MAGNUM CAN DO TO A PUSSY? WHAT A .44 MAGNUM’S GONNA DO TO A WOMAN’S PUSSY THAT YOU SHOULD SEE!
- Charles Scorsese as Vinnie in Goodfellas, the guy who puts so many onions in the sauce
- Catherine Scorsese as Tommy DeVito’s mother, in the best scene in Goodfellas:
- The Taxi Driver magnum guy:
- Whatever this is, from The Muse:
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