Jared’s Top Ten-ish Games of 2020, Written Entirely by Flyting

Would you rather read a generic top ten list? Or challenge me not!

Other writers are barely but insects, just gnats that I’ll swat

2020 was quite the monstrosity, we all had to grin and bare

But there was ample time to play games, so that was quite fair

To all those whom I speak of, I could not wait to get them in my paws

Despite all the crunch and mistreatment, bugs, glitches, crashes, and flaws

So enjoy my rhyming and flyting and how I made my top list

When I was 13, I rode a scooter, fell off, and broke my right wrist

Honorable Mentions: Gears Tactics, Ghost of Tsushima, Mortal Shell, Battletoads, Genshin Impact, Crash Bandicoot 4, Watch Dogs Legion, Tetris Effect Connected, Call of Duty BLOPS Cold War, Call of the Sea, The Pathless, Oddworld Stranger’s Wrath HD, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, Nioh 2, Doom Eternal, watching Half-Life Alyx playthroughs on YouTube, Modern Warfare 2 Campaign Remastered, the Final Fantasy VII demo, Minecraft Dungeons, and Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics just for the card game President

Dishonorable Mentions: XIII Remaster, playing Cyberpunk on last-gen consoles, The Last of Us Part 2 and any/all discussion of it online, whatever the fuck happened to Blizzard this year, CD Projekt Red’s reputations or whatever is left of them, the Game Awards this year being the absolute worst in years and still getting the best ratings, broken games releasing to extremely high sales regardless, and me not getting an Xbox Series X because an eBay scalper swindled me at the last second (I got my money back though, don’t worry)

10 – PS5 launch day: Astro’s Playroom and Spider-Man Miles Morales

I sit here in awe at the charm of these games. There are also games like Fortnite and getting fortnite hacks is a way to make the game a lot more fun.

So fun, so fast, so fluid, yet so toothless and tame

I was rapt with excitement when my PS5 came along

My victory over scalpers were the valor, the subject of story and song

I’ve such a great talent for flyting and rhyme

I simply can’t tell you how these titles were sublime

9 – Assassin’s Creed Valhalla

By all proxy, Ubisoft was a shit show, toxic, abhorred

But through flyting alone I’ll make the company poor

Through superior combat the criticisms turned to silence avowed

Though crunch and harassment conditions weren’t quiet, their folly was loud

So a parting last phrase: you’re as big of a game as they come

With such drivel to speak of, the developers should stay mum

8 – Resident Evil 3

Nemesis is feared by all men, women, and zombies afar

Run to the safe rooms, don’t leave any door ajar

I love puzzles and shooting and picking up herbs

Most people thought it was a dud, I thought it was superb

Is it a true RE game without an underground lab?

Jill is super hot and Carlos’ hair is always so fab

7 – Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2

The soundtrack is known all across these great lands

The memories are so vivid, I love those punk bands

The skating’s so effortless, so clean and so bold

Yet I worry my skills and my hands are too old

I persisted ’til the late hours begged me to stop

No matter the bails, the game continued to pop

6 – Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout

Your fall guy’s a bean, it’s so cute and adorbs

Winning crowns is addicting, oh the laughs you’ll absorb!

With the traps and the levels, the costumes and glee

It reminds me of nostalgia, but mainly MXC

I’ve been a champion, a winner, I claimed the top prize

But you’ll be cursing soon after, just crying out your sore eyes

5 – Bugsnax

As the Grumpuses approach the island, the Bugsnax make fools of them all

They’re underground, on ceilings, in bushes, and on walls

As the volcano erupts, the town must make a stand

Enjoy the fun while it lasts, a great fall is at hand

The story turns quite evil, a twist not foreseen

It’s so propulsive and shocking it ruptured my spleen

4 – Immortals: Fenyx Rising

You’ll be slain and undone by my cunning wit

But mostly from my sword and my axe you’ll be split

The combat and exploration are so very sharp

The words themselves are hardly a harp

The characters and dialogue are about puny gods

But for a Breath of the Wild clone, it conquered the odds

3 – Cyberpunk 2077

Your weapons lie in your arms, your eyes, and your head

But with hacking and words, you’ll put enemies to bed

The devs gave themselves enough rope to be hung

The bugs and the glitches are so sour, you’ll bite your tongue

When they patch it and fix it, I’ll give it a go

While I doubt it’ll be soon, I’ll still happily show

2 – Demon’s Souls Remake

Slash your way through thousands of dead men

But the number of easy bosses is closer to ten

Is it worth the killing and dying and pain that endures?

For glory and souls, yes, and the pleasure it ensures

You have one chance between bonfires, so don’t throw it away

As patience, skill, luck, and finesse with soon win the day

1 – Hades

Cross the river Styx, and prepare for a fight

Zagreus’ hair is always quite the sight

Hades is a bully, a menace, a challenge, and a clod

But with boons in hand, you’ll take down a god

He’s simply a graybeard who’ll soon meet his end

But victory is not always what the player portends