Jared’s Top Ten Games of This Horrible, Godforsaken Year

1. Super Mario Odyssey

There is no god  – god is dead – the only entity i recognize is super mario, in all of his platformer perfection, and there is nothing but pure joy and transcendent splendor in his latest odyssey – all hail mario – all praise the italian plumber – new donk city is my mecca, my one true love – i am a new donker now and forever, for life – it is my xbox gamertag now, you can see it in the playlist above – there is no other option for number 1 on this list or any other list – it will bring grown men to tears, with targeted weaponized nostalgia for a better time in our lives – i am going to start a new religion based on the mushroom kingdom and i welcome you all to join whatever i end up calling it, maybe ill use this article to brainstorm and workshop ideas

play-theism

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I have not actually played this game with my own two hands and yet I know it to be true, I searched my feelings and knew it.

To be fair, it wouldn’t matter either way, so I don’t feel guilty whatsoever. Just the gameplay I’ve seen is enough for me to shed tears of exuberance. One year I gave the demo for The Stanley Parable game of the year, so honestly if you have read this far and care about GOTY lists you need to examine your life and get your brain examined. I can do whatever I want facetiously or not, and you’ll never know the difference!

Okay I’m done talking now, goodbye everybody.

FUCK 2017 AND FUCK EVERYONE WHO LET NET NEUTRALITY DIE FOR NOTHING