Games

Overwatch Legendary Skins, Ranked (Updated with Orisa!)

No matter how cool you look, please get to the fucking payload. Please. And stop picking Hanzo for goodness sake people.

In an effort to get my work published on Deadspin and/or Kotaku, which quite frankly is not going so well, I am going to now rank for you, dear reader, the best legendary rarity costumes in the game. Not the epics, sorry, color swaps don’t count. And I’m not going to divide this list into two just for the slight differences in most of the skins, since a lot of them are the same just with different colors. I ain’t got time for that, so deal with it.

Here is the rubric for my grading: how cool each one looks, the colors, the cleverness of the reference, the way each one suits the character, any changes to the weapon, and whether or not I unlocked them in a loot box. I have a lot of Zarya drops I don’t want and I’m salty about that, so sorry Zarya mains, I have a grudge with RNG.

Thanks to the fine people at Gamepedia for the images, go there to look at everything, they did a great job and have no idea I’m taking from their site but at least I’m attributing my source: http://overwatch.gamepedia.com/Skins

73. Pharah — Mechaqueen / Raptorion

What is this supposed to be? Is she Samus? Why not just use the regular armor?

72. D.Va — B.Va / Junebug

Is she a bee? Why is the alternate color blue then?

71. Widowmaker — Noire

This is not nearly different enough from the regular costume, but it is black, so

70. Lucio — HippityHop / Ribbit

Why is he a techno frog again?

69. Bastion — Gearbot / Steambot

This one is cool but fuck Bastion and his turret form

68. Genji — Sparrow / Young Genji

Out of all the younger versions this is the worst

67. McCree — Mystery Man / Vigilante

Good idea, poor execution, he looks dumber not cooler

66. Ana —Wadjet / Wasteland

There is a neat Mad Max thing going on but it’s just a little off color wise

65. D.Va — Junker / Scavenger

This beats the Steam punk Bastion one because D.Va has no turret form

64. Genji — Bedouin / Nomad

I don’t know what this is supposed to be but alright

63. Symmetra — Architech / Vishkar

Half Portal inspired, half dentist look here

62. Hanzo — Young Hanzo / Young Master

A pretty boring skin for Hanzo. Also stop picking Hanzo please everyone

61. Pharah — Security Chief

Another whatever throw in for pre-ordering the game

60. Mei — Abominable / Yeti Hunter

I like her boots

59. Soldier 76 — Strike-Commander Morrison

Man the pre-order skins were bad in retrospect

58. Tracer — Slipstream

Really bad in comparison to the rest of the list

57. Zarya — Arctic / Siberian Front

This is one of the first legendary ones I got. Fuck you Blizzard I don’t even play her!

56. Widowmaker — Odette /Odile

Every time I see this one I yell BIRDMAN BIRDMAN

55. Zarya — Cybergoth / Industrial

I was once goth too. I still will not play Zarya, sorry Blizzard

54. Zenyatta — Sanzang

This would have ranked higher but his face is too creepy

53. Zarya — Champion / Weightlifter

Finally a good Zarya one. I got this in a loot box and will still not play her, really stop it now Blizzard HQ

52. Widowmaker — Comtesse / Huntress

Bonus points for the sick gun

51. Bastion — Antique / Woodbot

Would be funnier if you didn’t hate-scream at Bastion all the time

50. McCree — Gambler / Riverboat

Man, McCree got stiffed hard on legendary costumes

49. Orisa — Megaosoma / Dynasinae

It’s like a cow, and also a beetle, in the other color. Pretty cool.

48. Sombra — Cyberspace / Augmented

For a Tron knock-off this isn’t half bad

47. Junkrat — Hayseed / Scarecrow

Let Junkrat be a new Batman villain

46. Lucio — Selecao / Striker

The mascot of Lucio Ball and host of the Brazil Olympics

45. Reaper — Blackwatch Reyes

This outfit makes me less angry at Reaper players because you don’t hide behind that skull mask

44. Soldier 76 — Commando / Night Ops

I remember Vietnam too

43. Bastion — Overgrown

Is this the best pre-order one? Really? You gave it to Bastion?

42. Torbjorn — Chopper / Deadlock

This one works best on the Route 66 map

41. Tracer — Mach T/ T.Racer

I wish I had this one for Tracer

40. Mei — Chang’e / Luna

Mei is looking a little slimmer, no?

39. Mercy — Sigrun / Valkyrie

Thor is going to be pissed when he sees the plagiarism on hand

38. Reinhardt — Blackhardt / Bloodhardt

This is some boss looking armor

37. Zenyatta — Djinnyatta / Infrit

Spoilers: by the end, Zenyatta has pound for pound the best legendary costumes in the game, by a mile

36. Winston — Wukong

Is there another popular eSports game with a Wukong in it?

35. Sombra — Azucar / Los Muertos

Reminds me of that one guy from Suicide Squad

34. Roadhog — Islander / Toa

The hook gets changed when you pick this one

33. Reinhardt — Lionhardt / Stonehardt

No helmet = fucking awesome for him

32. Tracer — Sprinter / Track and Field

The Union Jack flag is a nice touch

31. Reaper — Nevermore / Plague Doctor

Actually somewhat intimidating

30. Soldier 76 — Daredevil / Stunt Rider

Evel Knievel is going to sue someone

29. Ana — Captain Amari / Horus

This is the best Ana costume by far, she looks legit

28. Tracer — Punk / Ultraviolet

I used to be punk, once upon a time

27. Orisa — Protector / Carbon Fiber

This shit looks like the original Xbox 360 dashboard, hella cool.

26. Winston — Frogston / Undersea

The O2 tanks sell it

25. Lucio — Breakaway / Slapshot

What’s better than roller blades on Lucio? Ice skates!

24. Mei — Firefighter / Rescue Mei

The irony here is amazing

23. Winston — Yeti

This is brilliant

22. Junkrat — Fool / Jester

This fits him so well. I’m a Junkrat main, I get to be biased on my own list

21. Reinhardt — Wujing

I want that necklace

20. Mercy — Devil / Imp

This shit is hot

19. Hanzo — Lone Wolf / Okami

What puts this over the top is the wolf that comes out of his ult

18. D.Va — Palanquin

If only the other D.Va ones could be this detailed

17. Reinhardt — Balderich / Greifhardt

This is the epitome of badass

16. Roadhog — Junkenstein’s Monster

Beyond a perfect match, Roadhog and Frankenstein’s Monster

15. Torbjorn — Barbarossa / Blackbeard

The turret is pirate themed too

14. Winston — Explorer / Safari

Love his hat, mustache and stickers

13. Genji — Oni

Makes me hate Genji players a little less when I see this one

12. Junkrat — Dr. Junkenstein

I am beyond upset I never got this one, as a Junkrat main

11. Mei — Mei-rry

Classic, simple, and festive, almost makes the top ten

10. Reaper — Pumpkin

Anything that resembles Spidey foe Hobgoblin is okay in my book

9. Roadhog — Mako / Sharkbait

One of the strongest, most fleshed out legendary skins to launch with the game

8. Symmetra — Devi / Goddess

This actually makes me want to play Symmetra. I won’t, but I want to.

7. Tracer — Jingle

Cute? Sexy? Funny? Apropos? All of the above?

6. Pharah — Raindancer / Thunderbird

I choose to ignore the possible racism on display here because this is too stunning

5. Mercy — Witch

We all know the best Halloween costume is this one

4. Zenyatta — Ra / Sunyatta

I told you Zenyatta had the best skins in the game

3. Reaper — El Blanco / Mariachi

Mucho bonito

2. Torbjorn — Santaclad

The trees, the turret, the glasses, the bells, the fit, it’s all too perfect. Ho ho ho indeed

1. Zenyatta — Nutcracker

HE THROWS NUTS AT PEOPLE. NUTS

Do you disagree with my list? I don’t care. Don’t @ me on Twitter.

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