Has there ever in the history of time been a trailer more anticipated than the one for the fourth Avengers movie? You could argue the one for Star Wars: The Force Awakens maybe, and The Phantom Menace too. But the former was more a curiosity than anything, and the latter was released before trailers hit the internet so, really, it doesn’t count  (sorry, olds!) But after the jaw dropping conclusion to Avengers: Infinity War, pretty much every person on the planet who saw the film is asking themselves one question: “How the FUCK is Donald Trump still president?” But after that, they are kinda curious how the hell all our MCU heroes are going to get out of this one. 

And now our first peak at the conclusion to this twenty picture ordeal has arrived, as the newly titled Avengers: Endgame trailer is here to dissect and devour. Although, be warned: there’s not a whole lot of new conclusions to glean here. In fact, the whole thing just leads to further questions.

But before we get into that, the most concrete piece of information: dat title tho. By this point it’s already been said just how much the Russo Brothers completely lied to everyone by saying the title was not in the first movie, so I’m not going to dwell on that too much.

Except, no, I AM going to dwell on it too much. Because c’mon, guys: I am so tired of respected journalists (like Mike Ryan, in this case) asking filmmakers questions about their movies, and them just completely lying just to hide a secret. It’s a fucked up thing to do to the journalist and to the fans, and completely unnecessary to boot: just say you don’t want to comment! But brazenly dealing with half-truths like this (you see, Endgame might be in the movie, but Avengers: Endgame isn’t! HA HA, FOOLED YOU ALL) is so incredibly annoying. Stop it, filmmakers.

Outside of that specific bubble, though, I will say this about the title: it’s a title, all right. Not as cool as either Age of Ultron or Infinity War, but it gets the job done. Really, it would have been completely acceptable…if Disney and everyone involved didn’t try to hype up the damn thing so much — it’s not a spoiler, or even that noteworthy. They should have just revealed it a few weeks after the first film came out, rather than jerking us around for seventh months. In the grand scheme of things none of this is at all important, but still: it’s about ethics in film marketing strategies, you guys.

Now, the trailer itself? Actually pretty great, if you ask me. Though some might be mad about the lack of real clarity on anything within the trailer, I view that far more as a positive than a negative. What this trailer does well is build atmosphere, from the moment we open on Tony Stark alone on the Milano, all the way until the end. That opening monologue from Stark paints a grim portrait of the fate that our heroes have found themselves in and, although it’s pretty damn obvious this whole thing will be reversed within the course of the film, I still think there are some incredible opportunities to play in this post-apocalyptic sandbox before we’re back to the status quo. This trailer does a good job of presenting those opportunities, and truly setting up how screwed our heroes seem to be. 

Of course, this isn’t Children of Men — this trailer is certainly starting to lay the groundwork for our heroes prevailing, even if the path ahead is a fraught one. Cap’s line about not knowing “what to do” if their plan goes south is a telling one — this is a latch ditch effort for the Avengers, and I hope desperation is a through-line for the entire film. They don’t know if their plan will work, but they have to try anyways, damn it.

Now on the subject of that plan? Who knows what the hell it is! Like I said, this trailer does not paint specifics at all, and though one can venture that Ant-Man is the key to this whole thing (what a wonderful phrase!), it’s anyone’s bet what will happen to solve this crisis (like most, though, I’m betting time travel, Jeremy Bearimy shenangians are involved) 

But, ah, that is only one of many questions this trailer presents! Other’s include:

• How did Tony Stark end up alone in space, about to lose all oxygen?
• Who the hell is going to save him? Captain Marvel?
• How did Scott get out of the Quantum Realm? 
• Who the hell saved him? Captain Marvel? She can’t save everyone…right? 
• Where the hell did Nebula go? Did she abandon him? I mean girl, yeah, I get it, but still: cold.
• Where is Rocket? Did he stick around on Earth with his new pal Thor?
• Speaking of which…where the hell is Thor at? Is that the Raft? Did he put himself in exile after his failure to do the damn job?
• And speaking of said job: how long has it been here? Are we talking weeks? Months? Years? The trailer is extremely vague on that.
• Shuri disappeared? SHURI?! That blows.
• Hawkeye’s a badass now? I mean, thank god (Team #HawkeyeIsTheBestAvenger), but what caused this? I mean, you can fill in the blanks on that one, but still!

Now, like I said, I’m kind of glad that all those mysteries are still floating around, this being the first trailer and all. And, really, this is enough to satisfy me as a fan until the film comes out…even though, yeah, I know I lack the willpower to go completely cold on future marketing. When the next trailer comes down the pipeline in March or so, I’ll definitely be watching it. 

But, until then: can we just, like, chill internet? You got a first trailer, you got a trailer, you know the movie exists. Can we all now just wait patiently for the next trailer to arrive, rather than asking endlessly when it will pop up on to the internet? It’s so exhausting. Just move on to the next big nerd event, okay? Which, for me, is the next trailer for “Liam Neeson is Mr. Plow, but Taken.” Then again, that’s the case for everyone, right?

…Right?

Avengers: Endgame arrives in theaters everywhere April 26, 2019.