Geek Binge
The 100 Best Episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants
In tribute to recently deceased Spongebob creator Stephen Hillenburg, let’s take another look at the 100 finest moments of his all-time classic series.
NOTE: This post was previously written for the website Geek Binge back in the summer of 2014. With the unfortunate news of creator Stephen Hillenburg’s passing earlier today, we thought it would be appropriate to repost it its 25,000 word entirety here. The man leaves behind a legacy of some of the best pieces of animated comedy to ever exist. He will be missed.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the official list of the best episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants! In this article, we’ll dive into the rich history of the show and give you a definitive list of the greatest episodes. Ten episodes will drop here every single day for the next two weeks, culminating in the final spots near the 15th anniversary of the show’s premiere. So read around, comment, bask in the nostalgia, and enjoy all the funny images, memes, videos, and memories from the last fifteen years in one of the greatest TV shows of all time. We here at Geek Binge love SpongeBob, and we hope you do too.
You may notice the interchangeable nature of the word “episode” in this list. Really, an episode of SpongeBob is two segments put together with commercials, and so technically this is a list of the 100 greatest segments. But some episodes are only one long segment, and sometimes there are three in one, since this show doesn’t like being pinned down to one structure. So just know that you are not crazy, and that I am purposefully being weird about the jargon. Ignore it and you’ll be fine, trust me.
100. “Help Wanted” (May 1st, 1999)
What better place to start on this list than the first episode of SpongeBob? The pilot for the show is the only episode in history to have three segments instead of the usual two, and “Help Wanted” is the second best of the bunch (another is further down the list). It helped establish SpongeBob’s enthusiasm for The Krusty Krab, Squidward’s apathy towards The Krusty Krab, and the tone for the series, all within a brisk eight minutes. It’s an ambitious premiere for a kid’s show, and has a diverse range of humor and animation styles. It’s hard to think what the world would be like without the yellow sponge, and it’s a good thing this initial pitch episode not only did well enough to land it into a full series, but is good enough to still enjoy fifteen years later.
You may remember this particular segment from:
99. “The Great Patty Caper” (November 11th, 2010)
From the oldest entry on the list, we now get to the newest one. The TV special known as “Mystery with a Twistery” is actually a thinly veiled adaptation of Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express but I use the word adaptation very very loosely. For a full length episode (22 minutes instead of the typical 11) it has a lot of references and call-backs, and has a lot of time to successfully pull off an entire mystery story. It features a terrific new character and straight man in Orin J. Ruffy (The Butler) who counteracts the goofiness of Spongebob and Patrick, only to be later exposed as the real bandit. It’s one of the better special episodes, and is surprisingly funny and clever for being such a recent episode. If you watch modern SpongeBob you know it isn’t up to snuff, but I’m glad there is still the capacity for this show to knock one out of the ballpark every once in a while.
You may remember this particular segment from:
98. “Opposite Day” (September 11th, 1999)
A nefarious plan by Squidward to make sure Spongebob doesn’t get in the way of selling his house, “Opposite Day” challenges the preconceived notions of who Spongebob and Patrick are by forcing them to be someone they aren’t. The characters do the opposite of what they normally do, and at the end straight up pretend to be Squidward. It’s sort of dark if you think about it; a lot of insults are thrown around without sarcasm and the only reason they aren’t taken seriously is because they’re taken as compliments thanks to the holiday. It can be pretty mean in parts, but doesn’t come off as being written that way, just that the characters have the potential to be so. Squidward impersonations aren’t uncommon, but having a climax consist of two Mr. Tentacles is genius.
You may remember this particular segment from:
97. “Jellyfish Jam” (August 28th, 1999)
A relatively straightforward episode (Jellyfish enter Spongebob’s house, he makes them leave, the end), “Jellyfish Jam” focuses not on its plot, but on its sight gags, its catchy music, and commitment to being as silly as it possibly can. There’s a lot of animation on display here: various insert shots of dolphins playing in the ocean, live action underwater footage of sea critters, flashy colors and multiple jellyfish dancing about in fun creative ways. Not every Spongebob story has to be witty, or make you burst into tears with laughter; sometimes you can simply be entertained with what’s going on. “Jellyfish Jam” certainly falls into that category, and suffice it to say, that techno song is still stuck in my head. Not the first time this show has done that though, there’s a lot of fantastic music that’s bound to pop up further down this list.
You may remember this particular segment from:
96. “Scardey Pants” (October 28th, 1999)
This is the first Halloween episode of the show and it premiered just in time for the 31st. The SpongeBob writers have a propensity towards the spooky, scary, and the occult, but at the end of “Scardey Pants” it goes straight Cronenberg with its creepiness. But, it makes the list for reasons non-gore related, including a classic first appearance by The Flying Dutchman, and a lot of really good jokes and an attention to detail that remains an intricate part of the show (Halloween decorations, music cues, ambient sounds, Mr. Krabs writing ‘souls’ on that bag, Squidward not knowing what a goldfish is doing in a bowl of water). There are funnier episodes that deal with fear, and better Halloween themed shows, but this is certainly a good first step.
95. “Tea at the Treedome” (May 1st, 1999)
It’s hard to imagine SpongeBob Squarepants without Sandy Cheeks, the show’s only above-water animal to venture into the depths of the ocean. A lot is established within this segment: the Treedome, Sandy’s love of karate, and the water helmets that Patrick and SpongeBob use for the rest of the series. But this doesn’t get on the list for being a stepping stone, it actually holds up on its own merits. The main running gag of the episode is “putting on airs”, which no child would ever understand, and it leads to a nicely paced and tension filled storyline where SpongeBob dries up and could potentially die. On paper that sounds rather hardcore, but it’s not so harsh when you put whimsical comedy around it. We all remember “pinky out” and “I’m a quitter”, and episode also gave us some delightful live action jokes and a bit of karate.
You may remember this particular segment from:
94. “Texas” (March 22nd, 2000)
If you can stomach all the stereotypes, “Texas” has a big heart underneath all the snark. It’s a bit on the heavy side at times, and speaks to something we can all relate to: feeling home sick in a place we just aren’t familiar to. But thankfully, a lot of endearingly stupid and goofy moments bring enough levity to balance out how sad Sandy is most of the time. I mean, that song about missing Texas, it’s so good. And, if you hate Texas, that’s certainly a plus I guess. I don’t know how much people from Texas actually use quotes from this episode, but I imagine it’s more than you think. Unless Texans don’t have TVs or electricity there yet, or can’t understand cartoons. I’m kidding, of course, relax, readers from Texas.
You may remember this particular segment from:
93. “Culture Shock” (September 18, 1999)
In typical SpongeBob style, some things do not make sense, no matter how much you break it down. Why do people go wild for someone mopping rotten tomatoes? And only when SpongeBob does it? Who cares. “Culture Shock” doesn’t have much going for it, other than the sheer lunacy of the jokes and the absurd number of non-sequiturs (‘Mouth Full of Clams Day’, Squidward’s interpretive dance, “free socks with every meal”, Gary’s incomprehensible poetry). But somehow it all clicks, and the end sequence at the talent show cements “Culture Shock” onto the list and into the classic repertoire of signature moments for the show. For a good while, there is absolutely no dialogue, which is hard enough to pull off, and you might not even realize it. That’s good writing. Plus, there’s a reference to Allen Ginsburg. How cool is that?
You may remember this particular segment from:
92. “Krusty Love” (September 6th, 2002)
Falling in love can be an incredibly complicated and often taxing thing to do. I mean, how can we impress the person we are dating when Spongebob keeps spending all of our hard earned cash? The premise of “Krusty Love” doesn’t sound all that funny on paper, but it’s all in the execution. Despite the story ending very abruptly, it’s always interesting to watch a character like Mr. Krabs have to struggle to keep two things he loves in his life simultaneously: Mrs. Puff, and money. Throw in some terrific jokes, like the ‘imported music’, seeing what Mr. Puff looks like, and ‘renovations’ in the Krusty Krab being gigantic bandages, and I think “Krusty Love” turns out to be an underrated and under appreciated episode.
91. “Skill Crane” (May 20th, 2005)
I love episodes where Squidward is obsessed with something he shouldn’t be (like Krabby Patties). And with “Skill Crane”, the central joke is how easy it is for SpongeBob to win at a crane vending game, and how Squidward can just never seem to win. A lot of well-timed audio cues (the sounds the machine makes when someone wins or losses), strong editing, and the manipulative behavior of Mr. Krabs makes watching Squidward’s misery all the funnier. What’s most impressive about this episode is how a good portion of the story takes place in one corner of the Krusty Krab, which might categorize this as a bottle episode. Not once do you notice how much of it takes place in front of that skill crane, and for that I tip my hat to this episode.
Click the next page on the handy dandy slider to read picks number 90-81!
90. Ripped Pants (July 17th, 1999)
SpongeBob is a show that takes its silliness very seriously. And so does SpongeBob, the character. “Ripped Pants” has the music, the story, and the intensity to be considered a serious episode, but it decides to roll a straight-faced premise into an adorable little story about friendship and having a sense of humor. SpongeBob likes being an entertainer and a comedian, but only when he takes it too far does he learn about sensitivity and crossing the line for the sake of comedy. And speaking of comedy, talk about forced ripped pants puns, which there are a lot of apparently. The thing most people remember is the song he sings at the end, which is really good don’t get me wrong, but there’s an entire thread about losing your friends, and being a goofy loner who’s a one-note joke, and identity, that you might have missed. I’ll tell you what no one misses, though: getting sand in your buns. Always kills, that line.
You may remember this particular segment from:
89. “Grandma’s Kisses” (March 6th, 2001)
Let’s get this out of the way right now: for as weird as SpongeBob is, “Grandma’s Kisses” is extraordinarily weird. Like, to such a degree that I really do not know what drugs the writers were smoking when they wrote this. But much like that sweater with love in every stitch, this entire episode is intricately planned, executed, and loaded with in-jokes and meta writing. Right around this point in the show’s life there was a turn towards writing certain material for adults, like including marine biology references, bending the laws of physics, and playful jabs at classic TV and film genres. And what a better arbiter for this shift in tone away from children’s content than an episode about being an adult? It’s esoteric, strange, filled with stereotypical ‘baby’ things, and laden with nostalgia. There’s also quite a bit about free-form jazz, office supplies, and taxes, which is going to sail right over kid’s heads and I think that is great. Not because I don’t want them to enjoy the show, but because they need to learn about the horrors of employment and doing taxes early, right?
88. “The Chaperone” (October 2nd, 1999)
“The Chaperone” is regarded as a classic to SpongeBob aficionados, and I’m fairly certain that “long, tan, and handsome” is in the lexicon of American society. It has to be, because I’ve heard that so many times over my life, and I’m pretty sure it emanated from this episode. Pearl’s Prom Night houses a lot of goofy moments, like the sound effect of the spring legs every time SpongeBob walks, and also features one of the few worthwhile uses of Pearl, a character who has no other reason to exist other than to be a narrative cog in the storytelling machine. It has just enough edge to parodying proms to balance out the wacky slapstick, dance routines, and overall zaniness of the events. Bonus points for the introduction of “the wack”, “the sponge”, and that fake dummy he keeps using to distract people. Solid gold every time you get tricked into thinking it was really him, when in fact it was a cardboard cutout.
You may remember this particular segment from:
87. “Bubble Stand” (July 17th, 1999)
There’s a stunning, beautiful quality to the simplicity and stupidity of SpongeBob. And nothing exemplifies that better than the early classic “Bubble Stand”. This episode might not have as many memorable moments than other choices further down on this list, but there’s no denying the lasting impact (hyperbolic, yes) that these early episodes had, considering that if these failed to make people laugh or care about the characters, the show would never be the smash hit that it was. And we can only attribute its success to lines like “It’s a giraffe!”, and to ‘the technique’ and to ‘pelvic thrusts’. I’m confident Chaplin and Keaton would be impressed with the physical comedy on display here, and the innocent charm of the story coupled with the superb sound effects make for one great episode. It’s deceptively unassuming and straightforward, but less is more in this case.
You may remember this particular segment from:
86. “Squidward on Strike” (October 12, 2001)
Unions! That’s what SpongeBob really needed, an episode on striking. But it fits into the universe quite well, as expected, and almost anything the show tackles can be done well and made funny, even the oppression of corporate overlords on the measly minimum wage fast food workers get. When the turn first happens, and SpongeBob finds out what a strike really means, all hell breaks loose, and the rest of the episode is a madcap frenzy of looney gags, word play, and snappy humor. It’s all pretty ridiculous for a serious premise, people lose their jobs over mistreatment at work (which Squidward takes very much to heart), and SpongeBob ruins that almost immediately. Those two are the best comedy duo in the last twenty years, and I would rank Squidward and SpongeBob as being an all-time classic comedy team, up there with Laurel & Hardy and Abbott & Costello. They work so well together, and clash so much as opposite archetypes tend to do, it’s almost impossible to count how many occurrences on this list feature a storyline that involves Squidward dealing with SpongeBob.
85. “Sandy’s Rocket” (September 4th, 1999)
I can distinctly remember getting my copy of Nickelodeon the Magazine when I was a child, and getting a ‘scratch and sniff’ card that I could use during Nick’s programming. One of them was for SpongeBob, and it smelled like peanut butter and toothpaste. And I didn’t know why, but after watching “Sandy’s Rocket” live, when it aired, I understood the moment it happened. And that’s the kind of story we have here: a lot of things mixed together that doesn’t seem right at first, but makes sense after you get the context. MOON RIDES! ALIEN HUNTING! TWINS! It’s a great episode, one that incorporates paranoid crazy notions about space aliens, a horror film structure, some great call-backs, and of course, hilarious misadventures involving Patrick and SpongeBob. Things turn sour fast, and once they land on the moon, the thriller aspects ramp up and the references to classic genre troupes start flying (the 2001 soundtrack makes an appearance for crying out loud). It’s not the first time the show pokes fun at science, and this is the start to the inaccuracies of underwater life and marine biology jokes the show is known for.
You may remember this particular segment from:
84. “Born Again Krabs” (October 4th, 2003)
“Born Again Krabs” might fly under the radar in terms of being well known and appreciated, but it has a staggering amount of things going for it: editing Edgar Wright would love, wacky sound effects, rhyming dialogue, memorable transitions, and a late ‘50s early/‘60s sheen that Don Draper would appreciate. But it speaks to much greater thematic points too, like stinginess, death, dealing with loss, grieving, changing who you are for the betterment of yourself and others, charity, movie piracy, debt, denial, people’s inherent worth, and the role of money in our society. “Born Again Krabs” offers a biting critique about Mr. Krab’s link to what he deems valuable commodities to his life: his staff or his money. The Flying Dutchman has another good role to play in the story, and I’m always impressed with what the writers give the Dutchman to do. It’s heavy on the jokes, and can be enjoyed without taking in all of the themes, but this is an episode worth revisiting for sure.
83. “Plankton!” (July 31, 1999)
The first appearance of one of the show’s (secretly best) character, “Plankton!” sets up Sheldon J. Plankton as perfectly as you could ever want. Manipulative, cunning, conniving, evil, treacherous, dedicated, and driven to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula. Now of course, he can never get away with the plan, because this is a kid’s TV show and that’s how these things work, but he has gotten close before. But for 1999, textbook old-school Plankton was a fun character to watch work and we love to hate him (I unapologetically love him for being evil). He takes over SpongeBob’s brain (not the first time he’ll do that) and controls his actions, but what’s exactly motivating him? His inadequacy with his size? His jealousy of Krab’s success? Or to show off his intelligence (he did go to college). While we don’t get a whole picture of his life and his computer wife Karen, we do get a terrific sequence where he drives SpongeBob around and controls his actions. The first episode is crucial to nailing why we care about Plankton, and this was the surefire hit he needed to become what he is today.
82. “The Inside Job” (July 9th, 2009)
You may not have seen this episode, but like the episode above it, “The Inside Job” is about Plankton taking over SpongeBob’s brain to steal the secret formula. What’s interesting about this season seven episode, other than it’s the best episode post 2004 (The SpongeBob Squarepants movie era) is how it tackles the same plot as “Plankton!” and inhabits a fresh way to retell a classic story. I’m also totally down for characters doing impersonations of other characters, and Plankton takes it to another level. He’s had a lot of wacky plans before, and almost all of them are worth watching, but I feel like this particular segment is under seen and therefore worthy of more praise than other episodes, not to mention “The Inside Job” harkens back to an older age of SpongeBob and doesn’t repeat the mistakes of the current episodes premiering now. It uses the show’s history to its advantage, and allows itself to be both self-reflexive while simultaneously carving out new things for these old characters to do. Like make Plankton turn into SpongeBob, and then Patrick. That’s amazing, and it’s downright side-splitting at times.
81. “Pranks A Lot” (October 11th, 2004)
While I admit I do like watching Patrick fall for stupid pranks and getting mildly injured, as he tends to do a lot, “Pranks A Lot” is actually about a can of invisible spray. Doesn’t sound like much on paper, but there’s a lot of imagination and creativity put behind it. Not quite the hardest episode for the animators to do, since there are no protagonists to draw or render most of the time, but the writing is as sharp as ever here. I mean, it has to be; you don’t see anything for a while. There’s no SpongeBob or Patrick there for reactions or smiles or sad eyes or anything visual. The puns are on point, the jokes strung quickly together, and the editing rapid fire in pace. Goofy, aloof, and very odd, the SpongeBob flavor works incredibly well with this simple premise. Almost everyone in Bikini Bottom gets their due as well, and I love that. And for some reason this show really likes using ghosts in its stories. But as long as they’re funny, I don’t mind.
You may remember this particular segment from:
80. Neptune’s Spatula (April 1st, 2000)
Fun fact: the first real guest star to appear on the show, outside of Ernest Borgnine as Mermaid Man, was King Neptune! He is brilliantly portrayed by John O’Hurley, or Peterman from Seinfeld, and brings a gravitas to the role that counterbalances how ridiculous his character is. “Neptune’s Spatula” is a classic episode, in every sense of the word, and can not only be quoted by casual fans, is a seminal episode in the show’s history. There are actual stakes in the competition between SpongeBob and King Neptune, which is very hard to do in a cartoon show’s story, along with the patented live action jokes (Tom Kenny in the shower) and moral lessons about self-worth and friendship. The dichotomy between the godlike nature of Neptune and the delicate lovable style of SpongeBob clash, and brings up an interesting point about quality versus quantity when it comes to fast food. No I’m being serious; this is a thing that matters. Their cook-off is an epic and lively sequence that made me want to eat a Krabby Patty, and while I’ve never been able to, I can’t get the image of Neptune spitting one out and eating it again out of my head. So we can always thank “Neptune’s Spatula” for that.
You may remember this particular segment from:
79. Hall Monitor (August 28th, 1999)
Many aspects of SpongeBob’s life are examined on this show, but the one touched on often are his escapades at Boating School. SpongeBob takes a lot of things seriously, maybe to a fault at times, but what makes “Hall Monitor” so funny is that he’s terrible at being the hall monitor. Usually he’s great at what he does: being optimistic, friendly, funny, and making delicious burgers. But driving and having to monitor halls? Not a clue. But we take pity on him, just like Mrs. Puff, because of his enthusiasm and panache, but even that backfires into a horrible display of destruction and violence. And what is the ultimate outcome of him wearing the suit outside of class? Does he misuse his power, responsibility, and authority? Not really; it just leads to classic comedy shtick with some horror film inspiration thrown in for good measure. This is also the second time “My leg!” is uttered on the show, and the last time we see the Open Window Maniac in action. It’s a shame, because I’d love to see a copycat Maniac pop up again sometime.
78. Just One Bite (October 5th, 2001)
Whenever Squidward can get out of his shell, and be a lot less like his usual cynical self, all episodes automatically gets better by proxy. Forcing the most prudent and stubborn character on the show to change can be a thrilling thing to watch unfold, especially when temptation and danger are driving his motivations. I love the premise of “Just One Bite”, but the execution of the plot and the subsequent jokes really solidify it for me. The tension builds throughout the episode, and the intrigue mounts as to his newfound obsession. The ‘will he won’t he’ can be great the first time around, and still holds up on repeat viewings. It’s also one of the darker episodes, with a shocking (and ill timed) deleted scene you can catch below, and a well-timed reference to Squidward having no soul and going to hell. But the joy is in watching Squidward lie to everyone, especially about the job he hates, about something he shouldn’t like, and then end up going crazy to get what he wants. Like, he at one point dreams about marrying a hamburger. And of course, the ending is terrific if you haven’t already seen it. Or, should I say, it’s rather explosive. Tee hee.
This scene got deleted, which is infamous now, because of 9/11 I think:
77. As Seen On TV (March 8th, 2002)
While not the first piece of media made about The Krusty Krab in canon, the commercial central to the plot of “As Seen On TV” is a hilarious opening to a great episode about ego, skill, showmanship, Hollywood, celebrity, and popularity. Mistaken for a box of Bran Flakes, SpongeBob goes on a tirade of hubris and self-discovery, with humorous reprocussions. A number of miscommunications and an identity crisis lead to a whole end sequence that ramps up in its ridiculousness and ultimately ends with SpongeBob doing his job but with a funnier new context. Whether or not he learned his lesson from the angry mob doesn’t matter, as the fun lies in watching him almost self-implode, but then figure it out by the climax. This was the “Striped Sweater Song” episode, if you didn’t know, and it’ll be remembered for that forever, even though the rest of it is still well above average. But that god damn song has such staying power, and I think it’s funny but it took a life of its own at a certain point. Just sing it to someone. Watch their eyes light up. It’s like a Siren’s Song, it just attracts SpongeBob fans instead of sailors.
You may remember singing this song way too often:
76. Can You Spare A Dime? (March 8th, 2002)
“Can You Spare A Dime?” aired on my 11th birthday, and in the same block as “As Seen On TV”, and I remember it fondly. Because it is heavy. Really, really heavy, and it had an impression on me since I grew up very poor. The story of Squidward’s unemployment and mooching cuts pretty deep, especially for anyone put in a similar situation. It can hit too close to home for some, if you watch it under the wrong circumstances or caught it right around the 2008 economic collapse. I have no idea why kids would enjoy it, since it’s raw and unrelenting, but somehow the show dances the graceful line-stepping of being too drab or being too light. Lying, denial, charity, hatred, neediness, accusations, depression, homelessness, dignity, and one baroque reference to suicide are all brought up and examined at one point or another, and yet underneath it all it offers a good moral nugget: don’t overstay your welcome. Telling kids that they can grow up to be anything they want, and then smash cutting to Squidward living out of a cardboard box in an alley is sobering, and yet I’m still able to laugh at it. Until I can’t pay my bills, then Squidward won’t be the only struggling artist out in an alley.
75. The Smoking Peanut (March 8th, 2001)
What is it about these shows and airing my birthday every year? Anyways, I’m always fascinated by what creatures on the show are considered animals or pets and which are considered to be bipedal people. Oysters are animals in the SpongeBob universe, and with “The Smoking Peanut” the main attraction ‘Clamu’ becomes enraged and emotionally disturbed once Mr. Krabs steals its pearl. The whole town goes into disarray, and it’s up to SpongeBob and Patrick to solve the case, noir style. The investigation is filled with (misplaced) guilt, suspects, evidence, clues, and a bunch of other mystery clichés that become idiosyncratic when introduced into the show’s insane formula. I love how SpongeBob thinks he’s the one everyone is looking for, and a lot of the comedic situations come from events he puts himself in. The wailing cries of the Oyster give the background a much needed sense of urgency and ambience, and I think this is a forgotten about episode people should revisit. Patrick does his best Sherlock impersonation and Mr. Krabs is the villain, it’s just fantastic all around.
You may have been creeped out by this moment:
74. Squirrel Jokes (November 27th, 2000)
What is it about staged performances and the Krusty Krab? Why is it that half the time the restaurant is packed and everyone loves Krabby Patties, but then half the time no one’s there? In any case, “Squirrel Jokes” is literally all about telling jokes, and concerned about telling them and showcasing the power of them. The audience interaction is something to behold, with lots of loud obscenities and heckles throughout the performances. Making fun of the characters is something the show falls back on from time to time, but this episode aggressively takes that on, and really examines what makes everyone tick. Low brow slapstick, highbrow marine biology references, stand-up routines, they all manage to work in the context of the story. Plus, Patrick talking down to Sandy is ingenious, and I can watch Pat laugh at things that aren’t funny all day. Humor is a part of SpongeBob, but here it’s the main attraction, and I like the self-reflective properties of the episode. I’m sure the writers liked doing a story on stand-up comedians, because they get to take jabs at the repetitive nature of a TV show, and how people crave hearing the same thing over and over. Quick tangent: there’s no catch line on this show, no “D’oh” or “Did I do that?” or “What you talking about Willis?”, and I’m thankful for that. That’s a bad crutch that most shows get wrong.
You may remember laughing at and quoting this from time to time:
73. Gary Takes A Bath (July 26th, 2003)
This is the first, but not last, time I get to bring up Gary, a terrific character who makes me giddy every time I see him in an episode. Although he talks like a Pokemon, and only repeats his name, his importance to the cast cannot be understated. He’s more than simply SpongeBob’s pet; he’s a very wise and mischievous fellow under that pink shell. “Gary Takes A Bath” is a very slimmed down and simplistic story; it’s just various attempts of SpongeBob to clean Gary strung together. But when you strip away as much plot from an episode, down to its bare minimum, you only get pure comedy, and that can work wonders if done correctly. Cleaning Gary is like trying to clean any toddler: impossible. Gary is stubborn, clever, and despite not hearing what he’s saying you know exactly what he’s talking about the whole time. I love how reduced in quantity this episode is of characters and locations, yet it’s filled to the brim with quality, and good puns to boot.
72. Hooky (April 8th, 2000)
Talk about high stakes. Literally high. Coming at the tail end of season one, “Hooky” encapsulates what I love about SpongeBob; its willingness to just go for it. There are no limits or boundaries to the show, and this episode proves that, and the danger presented in “Hooky” leads to some good laughs. The live action material, the impending death around every corner, the innocence of underwater creatures to the fishing habits of human beings, the stupidity on display by Patrick, and the memorable lines (“We’re going to the Carnival”, “THE HOOKS!”, My sandwich is a fried boot”, “Mother of pearl, fire on the poop deck”) makes this an early favorite of mine. The narrative is finely tuned to teach about playing with fire and the consequences of not listening to your superiors, because then you’ll end up in a can of tuna, or worse, in a gift shop. Temptation is something brought up a lot on this show, and it’s wonderful to watch naïve characters get their comeuppance. Embarrassment might be what SpongeBob walks away with, but it could have been so much worse. Just look at Mrs. Puff’s husband! He’s dead!
71. Someone’s In The Kitchen With Sandy (July 19th, 2009)
Another later season episode you may have missed, this episode features the single funniest dialogue ever uttered by Plankton, and the creepiest ten seconds in SpongeBob history. “Someone’s In The Kitchen With Sandy” revolves around another scheme by Plankton to steal the secret formula, but this time he steals Sandy’s fur suit, and becomes a hollowed out imitation of her. It’s frightening, and hilarious, especially with his southern drawl accent, and if you haven’t done yourself the honor go seek out this episode (it’s the first half of an episode paired with “The Inside Job”, also on this list) and the less you know about it the better. Super funny, super weird, and features a lot of people calling Sandy a ‘naked chipmunk’ amongst other things. I don’t think Plankton and Sandy have shared much screen time before, and this is a fun way to link the two smartest characters on the show into confronting each other, and battling intellects. Also, any episode with Karen the computer wife in it is automatically a great episode, I don’t care what anybody says.
70. Karate Island (May 12th, 2006)
“Karate Island” does three things very well: action scenes, flamboyant editing, and homage. It also features a lot of live action footage and very little SpongeBob or any familiar Bikini Bottom locales. But the style definitely matches the content with “Karate Island”, a wet dream of kung fu action clichés, movie references, puns, bad lip syncing, and classic Ka-ra-te from Sandy and SpongeBob. It feels a lot like the “Aspen” episode of South Park, what with the evil omnipotent corporation luring in the protagonists to a new locale to buy a condominium, only to deceive them. And not only is the deception funny, so is the martial arts, and Sandy’s entire rescue which is overly dramatic and intricate. The story is blatantly ripped from Bruce Lee’s Game of Death and if you thought that yellow and black tracksuit was from Kill Bill you need a history lesson. For real. But for being a later season episode, this one feels remarkably fresh and void of any of the pitfalls the later episodes have.
69. Suds (January 17th, 2000)
There are a select group of people out there who find solace, and enjoyment, out of gross-out humor. And boy is this the episode for them: possibly the sickest, nastiest, grossest episode in the show’s history. “Suds” harkens back to an earlier era of cartoons that could be ugly and vile and weird and downright avant-garde (like Ren and Stimpy) and no one would bat an eye. SpongeBob shoots purple bubbles from his holes, his face melts off his head, and Patrick forces a lot of strange ‘holistic’ medical practices (like putting sea-nut butter on his feet, pulling his tooth out, sadomasochism, etc.). Most people don’t like going to the doctor (although I do) and none of us like being sick, and I think we feel an awful amount of empathy towards SpongeBob during this episode. And to top it all off, the end montages for both SpongeBob and Doctor Patrick are incredible. Those must have been a lot of fun to shoot, and it varies up the show in a nice way. I love all live action footage used on this show, in any capacity; it might be the best part of the show.
You may remember this particular segment from:
68. Krabby Land (April 3rd, 2004)
We’ve brought up how cheap and scummy Mr. Krabs can be. Exploiting children is actually not the lowest thing he’s done, but making a fake theme park and promising things he can’t deliver is certainly up there. Or down there. Whatever. “Krabby Land” is a rather fluffy episode, really only comprising of the activities SpongeBob does to delay the arrival of Krabby the Clown, while Mr. Krabs lets loose a few Freudian slips of the word ‘money’. But there is some ingenious stalling they have SpongeBob do, and it not only shows how creative SpongeBob can be, but how cruel kids can be in return to his torture and suffering and pain. I think we can all get an understanding on why Jackass the TV show and film series is so popular, because slapstick and physical comedy is hilarious. A person getting hurt has always been funny, and “Krabby Land” takes its inspiration from America’s Funniest Home Videos, with a sick twisted sort of interpretation. Once the ‘entertaining’ is all done, and the lima beans all eaten, the episode ends soon after that. It’s shorter than it should be, and feels like it, but at least the reveal of Krabby the Clown is worth it. Any shots fired at corporate entities like McDonald’s and Disney for exploiting kids is a-okay in my book.
You may remember humming this tune once or twice:
67. Pressure (March 8th, 2001)
“Pressure” is an odd one, because it starts off as a bottle episode, and teases and builds and mounts into a final display of meta-humor: a puppet show. There’s an internal argument about who is better, land or sea creatures, and while the competition and insults at the core of the story is fun, the true brilliance is the ending. An adventurous and wacky live action performance that pits seagulls against the main cast as they have to defend and fight their way back underwater. I’ve talked to a number of experts on SpongeBob (mainly my brother), and it’s a divisive episode only because really it relies on its third act too much. But the strength in the writing and the voice performances, plus the astounding mix of 2D and 3D animation, lands it on our list a bit further than most think it should. Mainly my brother. But he doesn’t get a say, I do, so he is going to just have to rewatch this one again and see how wrong he is. I think it’s really good.
66. F.U.N. (September 18th, 1999)
We all remember the song. It’s one of the most famous parts of any episode in the history of the show. Musical numbers are exceedingly rare, and as sparse as they are on SpongeBob are always quite memorable and catchy. Unlike something like “The Striped Sweater Song”, which had nothing to do with the story it was in; the “F.U.N. Song” is the heart of the story here. The episode starts out with an amazing series of action beats and some devastating humor, and quickly transforms itself into a tale about being a loser, and the power of friendship and betrayal. A common set of themes for Plankton related fare, since he becomes pals with SpongeBob a lot only to get the formula. It’s very akin to Cartman on South Park, who does a lot of the same stuff found in “F.U.N.” but it’s so masterfully executed and rewatchable here, I can’t complain. Plankton gets another episode where he steals all of the scenes, and gets to be so evil he imagines taking over the city with a giant jellyfish. And him calling SpongeBob “Sponge Buddy” gets me every time, so bonus points for that.
I’m not posting the FUN song, so here’s another thing I love:
65. Boating School (August 7th, 1999)
We’ve brought up SpongeBob’s inability to pass his driving test. Or to drive at all, really. And when we think about what that entails, we think of Mrs. Puff (who is a great character), ‘flooring it’ (now a cultural phenomenon), the boating school itself (home to many great episodes), and the “My leg!” gag (the longest running and funniest joke in all of SpongeBob history). “Boating School” started all of these things, and is a great episode to boot. The juxtaposition of SpongeBob driving with Mrs. Puff, and Patrick hanging out in his library the whole time, is outstanding. There’s a montage with no words spoken in it, and relies on its music and its visual storytelling to advance the narrative and to make us laugh at the same time. His giant cowboy hat, the radio bit, the driving test itself, there’s just a lot of goofy elements that makes it all work for some reason. We’ve all been a part of cheating in one way or another, and we all question whether or not we can live with the guilt. That’s something we can all relate to, and so is pretending to be a cow. Right? No? Okay, taking a driving test. We can all relate to that I’m sure.
You may remember this particular segment from:
64. Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm (October 12, 2001)
“Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm” is the finale for season two, aka the best season for a cartoon of all time, and is simply epic. It’s part Jaws, part Tremors, part Frankenstein, and the right amount of SpongeBob Squarepants mixed in. The Alaskan Bull Worm inspires some absolutely sidesplitting scenes, and the town reacting to the crisis is stunning. Stunningly stupid, I mean. In fact, whenever a large mob of Bikini Bottom citizens gather together, you can expect comedy gold, because man are those fish dumb. I wish more of the story could be centered around them, and not just Sandy and SpongeBob. But it’s undeniable how much fun it is to watch the title cards come up whenever someone says the worm’s name, and to watch the hype build to the reveal of the worm’s actual size. There’s a memorable set-up and payoff that’s become a meme at this point, the entire city being pushed away. It’s stuff like that, that make this episode so great. Also, bonus points for having one of my favorite jokes of all time: “Sandy, this is your pappy speaking, and I forbid you to go after that worm!” with the mask on. Makes me cry in laughter. It’s so dumb, but it works every damn time I see it.
You may remember this meme emanating from this episode:
63. Krusty Towers (April 1st, 2006)
“Krusty Towers” ostensibly works as a play. Four characters, one location, and a three act structure, perfect for act breaks. Not many episodes post season three (after the movie in 2004) made it onto the list, and for good reason (they mostly suck) but I feel this one is by far the best of everything season four and beyond. Now granted, I’ve only seen them all once, so I could be wrong, but I’m usually not. “Krusty Towers” is a twist on the management at the Krusty Krab, with Squidward being served by Mr. Krabs instead of the other way around. The lunacy and antics throughout keep it funny and fresh, but there are some truly great jokes to be found (like the ending at the hospital). I would compare this episode to a Monty Python bit, or a ‘who’s on first?’ type of routine, just because of how silly yet structured it all is. Give this one a rewatch if you haven’t done so lately, you may have missed it.
62. I’m Your Biggest Fanatic (March 7th, 2001)
Fanaticism, conventions, nerds, geeks, passion, desire, longing, and fandom; these things all happen to us from time to time, and to varying degrees. We all want something deep down, and some people look up to and obsess over and idolize celebrities. I’ve met some famous people before, and it didn’t turn out as smooth as I thought it would. This exact thing happens to SpongeBob in “I’m Your Biggest Fanatic”, and his adventure to join the Jellyspotters is a riveting and often times sad story. It’s frantic, stupendous, and a lot of feelings (and people) are hurt along the way. It can get pretty extreme too, and Kevin is a heartless bastard with a lot of misplaced power and a following of ass kissers. But in the end, SpongeBob prevails, and his naivety and talent outmatch the odds. There are a lot of overt references to being a loser, but some good subtext on mob mentality, bullying, and being one of the cool kids, which is more valuable to children than adults.
You may remember this particular segment from:
61. Plankton’s Army (January 19th, 2004)
I love the idea that Plankton finally gets the Krabby Patty secret formula. And what I love even more is the thought that plankton are the special ingredient. Even though it’s not true, it’s a great fake-out, and “Plankton’s Army” is chalk full of these things that defy expectations. Like Plankton’s family being rural rednecks, his plan actually working out in the end, the robot at the beginning not being one of his, and the ending twist. A lot of genre troupes are purposefully twisted here, and I think that’s commendable. This episode also features a string of call-backs and references and running gags, like the montage of Plankton being crushed, the montage of him reaching out to his family, and the Sheldon jokes. These scenes solidify what’s so distinct about this show, and secure it a place as being one of the best Plankton episodes. Any Plankton episode is a good episode, though, and I might be inclined to say that you will see more pop up further down the list. A word of warning: as long as you aren’t offended by Southern insults, you should like “Plankton’s Army”. This show hates the South, apparently, as evident by “Texas” and “Pressure”, seen above on the list.
60. Jellyfish Hunter (September 28th, 2001)
Mr. Krabs being manipulative and putting his own profits before the well-being of others? How shocking. More shocking than that? How good SpongeBob looks with hipster glasses on. “Jellyfish Hunter” opens with SpongeBob hunting for ‘old no name’, a nameless blue Jellyfish he can’t seem to catch, and goes right into a musical number, then into a crazy montage of more jellyfish hunting, then a conspiracy theory, and finally a break-out scene all wrapped in an interesting revenge plot. It’s jammed packed (pun intended) with visual gags, tight writing, strong editing, and some ‘70s paranoia political thriller assassination stuff. Not to mention the inventive ways SpongeBob hunts for jellyfish and the crazy factory Mr. Krabs powers with his stationary bike. It evens wraps up neatly at the end, with ‘old no name’ turning into an adversary, then a co-conspirator, and finally a friend. It’s a fun episode and never misses a beat, and features a great song-and-dance number with the “My leg!” guy who falls in love with jellyfish patties.
You may remember this particular segment from:
59. Dumped (March 5th, 2001)
Out of all of the greatest TV comedies, of all time, they all share one thing in common: a piece of music that sticks around in the cultural awareness and pervasiveness. The Simpsons “Mr. Plow”, Arrested Development’s “For British Eyes Only”, Community’s “Troy and Abed in the morning”, and Archer’s affinity for the “Danger Zone”. But the one that doesn’t get mentioned as often is the music accompanying “Dumped” every time the episode wants to convey sadness, and it is simply the most underrated song in SpongeBob history. That sad tune totally gets its point across, and can work to be both hilarious and incredibly depressing. This entire episode is structured bi-linearly: Patrick and Gary have a great time together, while SpongeBob is a miserable wreck and tries to replace the pet that has left him. Loneliness and loss can be some of the most difficult stuff to deal with emotionally, and Gary can represent any friend or former spouse or failed relationship. Although to balance that out, there’s a fun jealousy/rivalry throughout that pushes the narrative forward. Replacing Gary with Rex the worm, Larry the snail, Jerry, and ultimately the cookie in Patrick’s pocket all feels bittersweet and childish, yet meaningful and important for SpongeBob’s grieving. It’s like any break-up; really rough, and we can all relate to that story in some way or another.
AND GARY AND LARRY ARE DIFFERENT THAN:
58. I’m With Stupid (November 30th, 2001)
Patrick’s intelligence has been hinted at, poked fun at, questioned, examined, and thoroughly made fun of. And that’s a key part to his personality, his character. No single episode has gone further into the exploration of Patrick’s stupidity than “I’m With Stupid”. Even though it mostly deals with Patrick’s family treating SpongeBob like an idiot, it really makes Pat come off like the true dummy. And it’s great. I truly love how far this show will go to show off how dumb Patrick and SpongeBob can be, and it’s shameless about it. But there’s a whole lot more to “I’m With Stupid” than cheap pot-shots, like the way Patrick’s home seems to expand and contract in size to fit whatever scene he’s in, and the killer one-liners and puns flying at the screen at a rapid pace. It also has an enormous amount of non-sequiturs that could put an Adult Swim show to shame. Lots of shots are taken at SpongeBob’s expense, and it can be a downright mean episode if you forget that they’re fictional characters. But, like some really cold hearted shit is going on here. But the rapport between Patrick and his (fake) parents is so spectacular that I feel like anyone can enjoy the misery subjected on everyone involved in this episode.
You may remember this particular segment from:
57. Rock-A-Bye-Bivalve (March 29, 2002)
Like an early ‘90s Woody Allen drama, “Rock-A-Bye-Bivalve” examines the break-up of a failed, loveless marriage, and the subsequent effect on their child. The fallout can be really rough to watch, and hits close to home. I’m not being facetious when I say that, since there are some deep cuts made, but the impeccable satire keeps it afloat and humorous enough to handle. The struggle to learn how to care for a baby oyster, the strain it has on people’s lives, the husband and wife relationship, love and marriage and divorce; it’s all outside of the typical content of an episode of SpongeBob. That’s what makes this episode so memorable and long-lasting, I think anyways. It has a sort of ‘50s vibe to it, and could be viewed as a collection of soap opera clichés if you want to dig deeper into the subtext. Broken promises, housework, loss of focus on the child, possible alcoholism, arguments, diapers; this is some harrowing stuff, and I have no clue how a kid would understand any of this, or why they would find it inherently funny. But the writers do sneak in a lot of good jokes to cushion the devastating blow, and “Rock-A-Bye-Bivalve” is wholly original and unique experience worthy of more admiration.
You may remember this particular segment from:
56. Bubble Buddy (November 16th, 2000)
Apparently, you can fill an entire episode with one person talking to an imaginary figure. There is precedent for this, with the feature film Harvey, but in cartoon form it takes a good deal of effort to make the imaginary character work within the context of the show. You can’t hear any of his thoughts, he doesn’t move or speak, and he is basically a narrative prop for everyone around him to utilize. But Bubble Buddy is a fan favorite, and his reputation certainly precedes him. The novelty never wears thin, and learning about him, while futile, is still funny nonetheless (he’s lactose intolerant and doesn’t like crust on his sandwiches). He pisses off everyone he comes into contact with, and incites riots, yet we still love him anyways. Sure, he endangers people and is an inconvenience and doesn’t help society whatsoever, and also murdered someone, but can you blame him? Bubble Buddy is an extension of SpongeBob and his wild vivid imagination, and oddly fills in the same role he does. Except for the murdering, of course. Bonus points for using the citizens of Bikini Bottom in an angry mob, which is always great to use the whole town together in a story for whatever reason. Can’t get enough of them.
55. Something Smells (October 26th, 2000)
What an episode. Anytime I can explain the plot of something, and it basically boils down to ‘somebody smells bad and drives away an entire city’, you know you’re in for a good time. It’s so stupid it’s brilliant, and that’s what I love about it. Rancid, toxic breath can be the narrative thread to an episode, and that just leads to a string of sight gags, one after another. Such relentless, silly, and cartoonish buffoonery can work, but it’s a dicey proposition; if you aren’t smart with your stupidity, you come off as just plain stupid and random. But if you can craft something interesting and funny, the stupidity becomes pointed and fresh. Leave it to the writers of SpongeBob to take a throwaway premise like “Something Smells” and make gold out of it. You get some thematic loose change here and there: ugliness, self-esteem issues, how we view ourselves and perceive our looks to the outside world, working out issues and accepting who you are, but that’s a bit below the surface level. A surface level filled to the brim with gross-out humor. The final line of dialogue is one of the best ending lines to an episode in the show, ever. But for me, it’s all about that movie theater scene. That’s comedy bliss unmatched in the fourteen years since it aired.
54. Artist Unknown (September 21, 2001)
Squidward’s perceived talent, and ambition to become a truly successful artist, is one of the single funniest things about SpongeBob Squarepants. It’s one of the longest running gags on the show, and a lot of jokes are made at the expense of his music, his paintings, his interpretative dance, and finally we get an entire episode dedicated to Squidward failing at the hobbies he loves. And it’s terrific, through and through, as callous as it all is. Of course, SpongeBob has to show up to not only ruin his day, but to outclass him artistically and destroy Squirdward’s ego. The story can be simply broken down into three basic acts: SpongeBob shows up Squidward’s skills, Squidward could become famous and rich and needs SpongeBob to repeat his impromptu art again, and then SpongeBob fails to do so and Squidward ultimately fails. It sets up a series of gags, a set-up in act one and the payoff in act three, and both are masterful displays of comedy. It’s deceptively basic in its structure, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be razor sharp or hysterical. The art world sometimes needs a good shaming, and the writing is well aware of the troupes of the art scene. If you’ve never heard of Rothko or Vermeer, you’ll still have a good laugh. If you know about them, it’s even better, because art can be really stupid and subjective, almost to a fault.
53. The Great Snail Race (January 24th, 2003)
Yes, we here at Geek Binge did name our Game of the Year Awards after a joke in this episode. And yes, I was behind the creation of the 2013 Tortellini Awards. I think that speaks to how good that joke is. The whole episode builds on his last name being mispronounced, which is funny at first, but then works into the actual plot and pays off by the end. Squidward wants a pedigree snail because he thinks he’s better than everyone else, SpongeBob wants to beat him at his own game, and Patrick owns a rock as a pet. It’s sheer lunacy, including the ominous threat Sandy makes at the very beginning of the episode (she gets the spontaneous idea to kick his butt, no explanation is given). And beyond the sports movie clichés and the lessons learned about pushing someone too hard (and the Rocky montages), you have an insanely fast paced and looney episode with a lot of fantastic moments that have nothing to do with anything. Any time this show brings in sports, things go south very fast. But those are the best episodes, and this is no different. SpongeBob has a mustache briefly, the show focuses on an old snail for like a whole three minutes, and Patrick has a pet rock. I mean, what in the world is up with that? On paper none of this should work, but it comes together beautifully, and I absolutely love this episode for doing so.
You may remember this particular segment from:
52. The Bully (October 5th, 2001)
Briefly, I will mention that yes, this episode does not resolve in a realistic way. As much as I like SpongeBob taking on something as serious as bullying, it does not go the usual route of kids shows and offer a valid solution for anyone looking for advice. It sticks to typical SpongeBob universe logic, and if you’re not down with that then you are watching the wrong show. Adults are puny and moronic, and no one helps anyone in Bikini Bottom. But, other than that, the escalation of the story in “The Bully” is magnificent. From the opening scene until the final resolution, it is nothing but dark humor, and the more the tension ramps up the funnier it gets. I think there is legitimately one laugh out loud joke in each scene, which is hard to accomplish, but I would give that distinction to this episode. “BobPants SpongeSquare”, Flat’s father saying “now he’s gonna kick my butt!”, “violence road”, Patrick calling the pizza castle, the banana peel flipping a car like Mario Kart, the end sequence of brutality; there is so much to like in this episode it’s hard not to fall in love with. Unless you get bullied a lot and this just insults you. Flats is like the T-1000, and this episode is the Terminator 2: Judgment Day of comedies. Relentless and takes itself very seriously.
51. Missing Identity (January 19th, 2004)
I cannot express in words how much I adore the opening of “Missing Identity”. You have really love noir to capture all of the detail and touches, but man is it a killer way to frame a story. The atmosphere, the diner, the music; it’s all perfect. Now, the rest of the episode is still rather funny, but it does not hit the high bar set by the noir stuff at the beginning and the end. I’m all for a story about identity, but this isn’t quite the mash-up of detective thriller and mystery into anything worthwhile. It actually turns into a weird episode about repeating SpongeBob’s day, and the writing really sets that up to work well on multiple viewings. The cyclical nature of his actions, and how often it gets messed up, is inherently where the bulk of the story is. In fact, there are a lot of repeated jokes along the way too, like Patrick saying hello in the morning, and SpongeBob’s nervous anxious breathing, which is always good for a chuckle. Repeating images and sounds, and splitting the screen into four quadrants, “Missing Identity” almost works as an avant-garde piece if you forget the narrative. It’s very visually diverse, and that might go against the noir stuff going on, but that’s why I love this show. What’s screams Stan Brakhage more than an entire scene set in a dumpster? And this is supposed to be the hard-boiled homage episode! Also: extra points for Patrick giggling at Sponge Boob.
You may remember this particular segment from:
50. Pickles (August 21, 1999)
Bubble Bass seemed, at one point, to be the preliminary villain on this show, behind Plankton. But after the first season ended, he never returned until seven seasons later for one brief cameo. I think he’s an interesting character who never got to be fully explored, sort of like Larry the Lobster. There’s something there, some deep seeded entitlement or vengeance or something, that is fueling him to be a jerk not only to SpongeBob but to the other citizens of Bikini Bottom. For whatever reason, he hides things under his tongue, including car keys. Why would he do that? In any case, “Pickles” is one of the few purely psychological episodes of SpongeBob, where nothing happens except what’s going on with SpongeBob mentally. His psyche is completely fractured, and he slowly digresses his sanity until he is no longer to function like a normal person. SpongeBob’s inability to complete daily tasks, set goals, and his highly obsessed nature seems like there is some commentary on mental illness. But it really could just be that he had a bad day and was in a funk. We’ve all been there before, but not to this degree. Nailing bread to your walls and furniture? Yoda speak? It can be somewhat daunting, but much like all good episodes of this show, it takes a potentially depressing situation and finds ways to make it funny, entertaining, enjoyable for all ages, and not waste any time at all. No unnecessary scenes, strong editing, dialogue that always pushes the plot forward and reveals character, and a lot of killer jokes; “Pickles” is an early favorite for many, and takes something as stupid as pickles and presents it with great candor.
You may remember this particular segment from:
49. The Camping Episode (April 3rd, 2004)
Within the span of a minute, Squidward twists his own logic (and maybe jealousy) from wanting to stay away from SpongeBob and Patrick to joining them outdoors camping. The title really does encapsulate what the story is about, and the only thing for twelve minutes is just the three’s adventures camping. But it escalates quickly into a madcap joke-fest, with a spectacularly dangerous and exhilarating climax. Squidward never comes out of these things unharmed, and his tirade about sea-bear leads to a gut busting display of violence and very bad luck. It’s risky to make an episode rest purely upon its joke telling, but not once do you ever hesitate to question what is going on. Even though the mauling is never onscreen, it’s implied, and that’s enough to prove how perilous the wilderness is. The once scene, where the sea-bear is attacking Squidward nonstop, never actually cuts away, and you don’t even need to see him being attacked for it to work. Like a play, the sea-bear just exits stage left, over and over, and the dialogue is the only thing holding the comedy up. It’s daring and hilarious storytelling, but “The Camping Episode” knows what it’s going for and nails it.
Here it is. Because you couldn’t listen to it enough, right?
48. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV (January 21st, 2002)
I love Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. They’re only used sparingly, and I mean exceedingly so, which makes their appearances all the more special and weeds out the possibility of bad episodes. You can tell the writers only bring them into the equation if they have a particular story in mind, and while I cannot justify them being in this one, it is nonetheless a worthy addition to the MM&BB legacy. I think if SpongeBob just found the shrinking belt, and you never saw Mermaid Man, it would be relatively the same story. But that’s not a knock at all, just an observation. The Wumbo Belt is an excellent McGuffin to base a story around because of the endless possibilities it offers. “MM&BB IV” plays out like a Twilight Zone episode, where bad decisions lead to worse situations, and things get so out of hand with the sci-fi zaniness, you’d think Rod Sterling would show up and narrate the epilogue. I say this a lot, but any episode that can utilize the entire cast gets bonus points for me, and plus: SpongeBob’s parents show up! How cool is that? Never thought I’d see them again. This also happens to be the Wumbo episode, if you haven’t clicked below and watch that ten times already. It’s a very lighthearted and wacky affair, with no real substance behind it, but it does feature enough moments to capture a high spot on the list. And that ending. Come on, it’s fabulous.
You may remember this particular segment from:
47. Squid’s Day Off (November 2nd, 2000)
Either Roman Polanski wrote “Squid’s Day Off”, or the writers on this show need a lot more credit. And counseling. Frugal Mr. Krabs leaves work from a dime related injury and Squidward is left in charge of the Krabby Patty. Once he gets the idea to take the day off, and relays the responsibility onto SpongeBob, he goes home. But just the thought of leaving him there, alone, without supervision, and HIS job is on the line, things go a little haywire. Then really haywire. Then completely mental, and filled with so much paranoia it might be disturbing to some. The crazy thoughts and worries of Squidward, juxtaposed with him running back to check in on SpongeBob, is a beautiful recipe for disaster. ‘Keep it simple’ is a famous screenwriting mantra, and this episode sticks to that. It’s just Squidward freaking out, and hallucinating and coming up with scenarios that might happen, only to run in and be proven wrong. For us, it’s a set-up and payoff that repeats multiple times, and this is the bulk of what the story is. But somehow, it works (shocker, right?) and it is just one joke after another after another, all the while SpongeBob saying “did you finish those errands?”. Repetition and variation is the backbone to avant-garde art, and also to good comedy. Do a joke, repeat it, but vary it enough to make it funnier the more you rely on it. And that’s what “Squid’s Day Off” is, a one-note joke executed and expanded into an eleven minute episode. Which is an accomplishment, if you think about it.
You may remember this particular segment from:
46. Squeaky Boots (September 4th, 1999)
So take whatever I said about “Squid’s Day Off”, and apply that times tenfold here. A superior episode about paranoia and conspiracy, “Squeaky Boots” goes just a bit further over the line in its depiction of insanity and obsession. Sort of like Edgar Allen Poe’s The Telltale Heart, but more Kafkaesque, and with a pinch of David Lynch in there for good measure. I like how instead of Squidward, who would be prone to this kind of ridiculousness, it’s Mr. Krabs as the protagonist, trying to get rid of those gosh darn boots. As if karma struck him with this plague of bad luck, sort of like he was stuck in a Coen Bros. film and something terrible happens just because he’s trying to squirm out of a wrong purchase he made. The lying, the deception, his stinginess, and ruining Pearl’s birthday, it all comes back to bite him in the ass. That’s textbook tragedy, classic Greek drama, only in the SpongeBob universe. His antics with the boots are both acrobatic and wild, which lead to some innocent laughs in an episode filled with a lot of terror and fear. Man, this episode does not look funny on paper, but when you watch Mr. Krabs fight an open window, it’s great. It’s funnier because of his sad circumstance, and the physical comedy is on full display in “Squeaky Boots”. Also, if you hate that infernal squeaking noise, you may hate this episode. I know people who just can’t watch it, which is odd to me. Oh well, they miss out.
45. Big Pink Loser (November 16th, 2000)
Patrick being an idiot; we’ve already talked about this before. Once he gets a taste of success though, he becomes ambitious, and then jealous and spiteful, and eventually turns into a belligerent troll copying SpongeBob. What I really love about this episode is the snappy dialogue and the strong writing, which lay as the foundation to a lot of goofy jokes. Utilizing Patrick can be tricky, since he’s a walking punch-line. If you overuse him, or pander to the audience, or go too easy with the insults, then he doesn’t work quite as well. But “Big Pink Loser” truly understands what he wants as a character, and what he’s willing to do to accomplish his goals, and often times cartoons lose sight of that. A character’s needs and how he/she overcomes obstacles and reacts to conflict is the backbone of narrative storytelling. And for comedy, you want to add some funny gags strung together throughout the story, and make sure your jokes are witty and your timing is right. Of course that sounds easy, but it’s not. Take for example one line that decimated me, and it’s a simple throwaway. SpongeBob tells Patrick that’s he getting colder, then warmer, then hotter as he tries to find the lid on a jar. So instead of just ending it there, Patrick yells out “IT BURNS!” as if the lid is actually on fire. That’s all it takes, just one illogical step forward for the sake of silliness, and you turn nothing into something funny. Much like SpongeBob slipping and dropping a bunch of plates; that’s good initially, but then Patrick repeats what he does, and in turn makes that joke better than it was. What a pointless thing to do, you cannot help but find that funny. There are countless examples of that, where good writing turns okay stories and jokes into great ones, and that’s really noteworthy for me.
Here are two clips for you! The list is getting so good now, there are too many clips to share!
44. New Student Starfish (September 20th, 2002)
Replicating a friendship through fiction can be relatively easy. Just have two characters who like each other hang out a lot, and BOOM they’re friends. But to truly examine what makes a great friendship tick, you have to go through a commonality: a fight between the two, and them making up. We go through that process in ten minutes in “New Student Starfish”, and it’s remarkable when you think about that from a narrative standpoint. This episode is nuanced and also incredibly funny. But then again, any time an episode takes place in Mrs. Puff’s classroom it’s almost guaranteed laughs. Patrick being a horrible student, juxtaposed against SpongeBob trying to be a good noodle, is a terrific A plot, and the B plot with Roger the egg makes it only better since it weaves into the main storyline and resolves the conflict by the end. There’s a good joke in every scene, and there’s some good drama between SpongeBob and Patrick. Stakes are hard to pull off on a cartoon that’s supposed to be lighthearted and for children, but showing Roger freezing to death is a very smart visual way to convey that to any audience. Plus, “New Student Starfish” is both suspenseful AND quotable, which is almost impossible to achieve. Unless we’re talking about the Indiana Jones trilogy, but other than that, a rarity.
You may remember this particular segment from:
43. Squilliam Returns (March 15th, 2002)
Good on the writers of this show to bring back an excellent and far too often underused character in Squilliam, and give him his own episode. “Squilliam Returns” goes totally off the deep end with Squidward trying to impress his high school rival, and the lies pile up as the story goes on (as any good sequel to the almighty “Band Geeks” should be). The mission is established early, create a 5-star restaurant in one night, and it all unravels in a beautiful travesty with the plan getting only worse and worse for everyone involved in the charade. And not just ‘everyone has a bad night’, like literally everything that can go wrong does. I’m talking monsters, insanity, kidnapping, torture, the works. Total sweeping justice, absolute cosmic karma happens because Squidward wants to show up an old friend. The story goes out of its way to become an ambitious showcase of insanity, and for that “Squilliam Returns” ranks fairly high on our list. By the time it reaches the “clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought” sequence, it turns into an early ‘70s Woody Allen slapstick, and it is miraculous. Getting revenge can be the most satisfying thing to watch, just look at Tarantino’s filmography, and seeing it fall apart for Squidward is even better than seeing him succeed. Because that’s how his character works: he has to be miserable in order for us to find him funny. That’s the role he serves, and he does it better than any grouch on TV. Also, he technically won the last two these guys fought, so it makes sense for Squidward to reset back to miserable by the end.
Here’s two more!
42. Your Shoe’s Untied (November 2nd, 2000)
What does an episode of SpongeBob have to have in order to be considered quintessential? For me, it’s a weird list: a song, very strong editing and sound effects, puns, a Flying Dutchman appearance, retro live action footage has to be somewhere, Patrick being an idiot, Squidward being grouchy and sarcastic, Mr. Krabs saying “money” and chuckling to himself, Gary getting a punch-line at some point, marine biology jokes, the French narrator doing a timecard transition joke, Krabby Patties are made, and the entire cast of characters in Bikini Bottom show up at some point. That is, for me, the quintessential SpongeBob experience, and “Your Shoe’s Untied” has all of these things. Hell, it has the painting of the pirate from the beginning of the show; how often do you see that? Never, that’s how often. This is the premiere episode of Season 2, which I consider to be not only the high point of this show but also one of the greatest seasons in TV history. All that’s missing from this episode is Plankton and Sandy, and I’m sure you could have squeezed them into the montage of not knowing how to tie shoes. All in all, it’s a jam-packed episode with a lot of diverse humor and a satisfying end, and a catchy song to sing. What more could you want from an episode?
Let’s learn how to tie our shoes with this shaky cam footage:
41. Club SpongeBob (July 12th, 2002)
I don’t need to remind anyone of how long-lasting and popular “Club SpongeBob” is. Just take a look at Twitch Plays Pokemon, which has sprouted countless memes and religions, and a lot of them all tie back to SpongeBob for whatever reason. I guess that generation of kids, myself included, got hooked on Pokemon Red and Blue in 1998 and watched the show in 1999, so the two make sense being mixed together culturally. But there would be no “All Hail the Helix” or “All Hail the Dome” without the magic conch shell, and despite being 15 years old I still continuously see and hear people discuss the magic conch as if it aired on SNL last night or something. The premise is that, once again, Squidward says something he will later regret, and the exact moment he says it something terrible happens. In this episode, it’s getting deserted in the rain forest while starving to death. Yes, that is rather hardcore for a children’s cartoon, but it’s also trite because there are a lot of similar storylines in other shows. The brilliance behind this episode is in the conch shell saying something, and everyone reacting to it. Or not reacting: not moving, not sharing, not eating, whatever. The comedy comes from hearing what the shell says and seeing the consequences of it happen. Squidward tries to fight his fate, and SpongeBob and Patrick just embrace it; their philosophies on life never more clear in their actions. I will never get tired of Squidward saying something that bites him in the ass, like “…fall out of the sky” and having a picnic fall out of the sky. That’s just perfect irony, and Squidward is far too often on the other side of that irony, much to my delight.
ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH SHELL:
40. Clams (September 20th, 2002)
What is it about Mr. Krabs losing money that makes episodes good? Really, he loses a dime, then a dollar, then his first dime, then his first dollar, then his millionth dollar, I mean what in the hell? Anyways, SpongeBob has a long standing history of making references and homages to Jaws, which is only natural. But “Clams” takes it to another level, and is this show’s crazy take on a remake. But this feels like Edgar Wright was a part of it, because “Clams” is high flying, mile-a-minute comedy with rapid cuts and a wonderful emphasis on music. The story is centered on a giant Clam and that weird orchestra, who ratchets up the tension in a strange fourth wall breaking role. Like a Greek Chorus, but funnier. This episode feels very similar to “Wet Painters” in that SpongeBob tries to fake a dollar for Krabs, and also feels similar to “Grandma’s Kisses” with the innovative ways it makes someone cry continuously. It’s funny, then becomes unfunny, then funny again with how long it commits to the bit. And that’s “Clams” in a nutshell, a series of bits that go on for a while, like the orchestra and Krabs dancing with his dollar, and if they fall flat for you the first time then this is a colossal waste of time. For me, it works, but that’s because I’m a nutjob and I also love Jaws. I appreciate stories and characters that care deeply about something, which is a trait more cartoons need. Mr. Krabs’ obsession with that dollar is why the episode works, and if it was just an unfortunate fishing trip it wouldn’t be as tragic or hilarious.
You may remember this music from this episode:
39. Walking Small (March 22nd, 2000)
Perspective is an interesting thing. Different perspectives on life can lead two similar people to two very different outcomes. Of course, speaking strictly from a filmmaking standpoint, the way “Walking Small” handles perspective is outrageously fun and creative. Small objects in the frame seem big, and just by a simple zoom or a cut, you can gain an entirely new perspective on what you’re watching. The story here is about Plankton convincing SpongeBob to have a new perspective on things, and him failing miserably at it. What we get here comedy wise is an all-time Plankton performance, an overwhelming amount of wordplay and crisp banter, and some classic sequences. Controlling SpongeBob is a usual go-to tactic for Plankton, but manipulating him with words instead of machinery is just as fun to watch. The Chum Bucket Mega-Bucket is the perfect symbol for assertive, aggressive behavior, and the fact that Plankton loses in the end is a great way to teach kids that nice guys can finish first. I love this episode for a lot of reasons, but mainly because I am biased towards Plankton because he is my favorite character on the show. I frequently use the phrase “Isn’t it wonderful, when you’re maniacal?” and will do so until the day I die.
You may remember this particular segment from:
38. Welcome to the Chum Bucket (January 21st, 2002)
You just learned that I love Plankton way too much, and episodes involving him taking control over SpongeBob basically equates to the mantra ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ in my eyes. And I find it splendid that the writers went so far as to rip SpongeBob from the Krusty Krab, which is unusual, and give a new context to how Plankton controls SpongeBob. His homesickness turns into a full blown duet with Mr. Krabs, which is phenomenal, and almost Disney quality good if you really listen to it. The songs on this show are major hits, yet this one gets forgotten about a lot for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the spectacular ‘brain in the robot’ thread, and how that culminates in a flurry of jokes about tacos. Also forgotten about: Karen, the computer wife. She is THE most underrated character on the show, and her rapport with Plankton is unmatchable. Add that to the relationship between Plankton and SpongeBob, which here makes Plankton the more submissive one for a change, and you have a loaded episode that doesn’t feel bloated. Although, why doesn’t SpongeBob just quit his new job? Can’t he just do that? I know you can’t do that because then there would be no episode to tell, but the angst ridden teenager shtick with robot SpongeBob is simply too funny to care about that one plot hole. But really though, does he have to work out his contract? I mean, you’d leave money on the table, sure, but if Carmelo wanted to leave the Knicks he could just quit. I’m clearly thinking too much about this and I don’t know why.
37. Pizza Delivery (August 14th, 1999)
“Pizza Delivery” plays out like a Cormac McCarthy novel. It is large in scope yet contained down to a simple focus, it’s harsh on its characters, fleeting and cold, depressing and wondrous, and I think that’s helped to make this episode last for as long as it has in the pop culture hive mind. Its longevity and impact are pretty big for a story about two guys wandering the ocean floor for ten minutes, and without much to do or see, the interaction between Squidward and SpongeBob has to be perfect in order to capture our attention the whole time. It did back in 1999 when I was a child, and it still does now, and retains its gut punch moments. When the customer at the end slams that door in SpongeBob’s, it hurts. You feel for him, and Squidward breaks loose of his hard exterior and stands up for him immediately, which really established them as characters and set their emotional complexities. The whole adventure, the images, the songs, the pizza, everything about this episode culminates together beautifully. It all just clicks, and you don’t have to be a fan of the show, or the humor, to appreciate how structurally sound and iconic “Pizza Delivery” is. The pacing is excellent, the jokes timed perfectly, and even though it seems cliché, it all feels original. I think this is a model example of what a good cartoon was back 15 years ago, and you can argue that it still is in 2014. Timeless, hilarious, and effective, everyone has seen this at some point in their lives.
You may remember singing this song way too much:
36. Prehibernation Week (May 5th, 2001)
How fitting, for this show, to introduce special guest Pantera. It just feels like a perfect match, you know? SpongeBob is light, and Pantera heavy, and opposites attract. I’m a pretty big metal guy, and I remember being floored by this episode back in 5th grade. Maybe that’s why I started listening to rock music. But anyways, “Prehibernation Week” starts with a bang and never stops, much like its protagonist Sandy, who is determined to do as much as possible before she hibernates for the winter. It’s a simple set-up, and introduces a ticking clock into the equation, and by the halfway point into the story the narrative shifts into a city wide manhunt for SpongeBob. It’s a risky move, since the first half has a lot of energy and outlandish stunts, and I didn’t think upon rewatching that it would hold up. It totally does. Aside from the ultra-violent activities Sandy does, and her psychotic quest to find SpongeBob, there’s a real emotional core to her actions. It’s in the background, and if you blink you’ll miss it, but she really does not want to have her mammalian instincts control her life, nor lose her friend, which is all commendable and understandable. Most cartoon characters do nonsense for the sake of it, but you can see she is passionate and doing this all for a good reason. Plus the Pantera soundtrack only adds to the intensity and how off-the-wall it all is. For something so metal, this episode sure is heavy on emotions and character motivations. But just remember, life is as extreme as you want to make it!
35. Imitation Krabs (December 28th, 2000)
You’d think I would get tired of talking about Plankton and his plans to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula, but I will never get tired of that. Ever. This is yet another episode dedicated to his quest, and as always, it takes a turn for the bizarre. In a rash and brazen attempt to guard off the formula, SpongeBob becomes a tad too paranoid, and in doing so, Plankton takes advantage. He creates a robot to impersonate Mr. Krabs, and the rest of the story devolves into a surreal sci-fi conspiracy thriller that should be a part of The Twilight Zone. In fact, a lot of episodes on this show should fit right into Twilight Zone canon, and you can tell it was a big inspiration on the writers. SpongeBob’s escapades with the Mr. Krab doppelganger go from aloof, to frivolous, to downright crazy. The rules to learning the formula are almost like a laundry list of non-sequiturs, and it’s pretty madcap the things Plankton will do to get what he wants. But the third act is where it really gets interesting, and I love how the real Mr. Krabs isn’t able to answer SpongeBob’s questions correctly, which you think he’d be able to do, but I appreciate the subversion of expectations. All in all, this is a thematically hollow yet incredibly hysterical episode that trades in emotions for laughs and high stakes.
You may remember this particular segment from:
34. SB-129 (December 31st, 1999)
I have no way of knowing this, but some of you reading were not alive back in 1999. That means you weren’t there for Y2K, and the dawn of the new millennium, and the ensuing madness over technology and the Internet and computers ruining clocks and destroying the world. I think the best piece of fiction ever made about this Y2K fear, and about our relationship with the future back at the turn of the century, is “SB-129”. Yes, that is a bold statement, but this episode premiered on December 31st, 1999, and was literally the last vestige for people’s concerns before the ball dropped. It’s apropos that Squidward is trapped in that storage room for 2000 years, a nod to the year 2000, and when he emerges enters a place taken over by technology and then goes on a Twilight Zone time travel adventure to learn about taking your life for granted. It’s scary, and humbling, and very different from almost any SpongeBob episode just in terms of tone, let alone the content and the look and feel of it. It takes from a number of inspirations from other source materials, and is apparently non-canon to the SpongeBob universe since it deals with paradoxes and causality loops. According to Tom Kenny on the SpongeBob wikia page, this episode is the most surreal episode in the series. I agree with him wholeheartedly; it’s really fucked up, but still very memorable and iconic. It helped to externalize people’s fears of that time, and make it funny and also really creepy.
ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE:
33. Survival of the Idiots (March 5th, 2001)
As much as I love the idea that SpongeBob and Patrick can enjoy a winter wonderland, simply because snow is water just in a different state, what I love more is how Patrick drags SpongeBob into precarious situations in the simplest of ways. Once the duo enters Sandy’s treedome, past the video tape warning, they find Sandy is deep into hibernation, and also enormous. What’s so silly, and adorable, is that the entire story rests on Sandy sleepwalking and sleep talking. And sleep-doing. Not only are the stakes real for Pat and SpongeBob (being frozen in the treedome until Spring), the threat of Sandy murdering them is also very real. That’s terrifying, since she’s not even consciously aware of her actions. But that gets offset by the playfulness of the rest of the episode, and the insanely strong writing that backs everything up. Dirty Dan and Pinhead Larry have become their own memes at this point, and the snow, Sandy’s fur, and lots of other jokes from this episode have endured long after its premiere. I also really like the thought that Sandy, the smartest one under the sea, becomes a monster, like Jekyll and Hyde. But most of all, there is an insane amount of quotes that I continue to use this day with people, and I’ve put some of them below. The fact that I say “some of them” and not “all of them” tells you how good this episode is. Now, here are 4 (four!) videos to prove my point.
32. Karate Choppers (December 31st, 1999)
I think the #1 most underrated aspect of any film or TV show is the sound. Sound effects, music, and voice acting can be (arguably) more important than what is going on inside of the frame, and I think the episode that most exemplifies this is “Karate Choppers”. Within the few first seconds of the episode, and into the first few minutes you hear the difference; the story is 100% funnier with its offbeat sounds than if it was just traditional or ordinary or nonexistent. Add upon the fact that the music in the first season was always spot on with what was going on in the story, and you have a show that catches your ear as much as your eye. Every snap, every quack, every time a window is broken off camera, it just builds this world more than almost any other cartoon, and gives it a real personality and exuberance missing from most other TV shows. Beyond the brilliant production, “Karate Choppers” is a wild escalation of action sequences coupled with visual gags and audio cues. Once SpongeBob gets fired, the episode goes from being fluffy to actually being about playing with fire, and the consequences of not listening to your boss, temptation, and the struggle to juggle hobbies with your job. Bonus points for having the best line of dialogue in the show’s history and for starting the running joke of characters crying their tears in creative and fun ways.
You may remember Tom Kenny’s face from:
31. Wormy (February 17th, 2001)
If you’ve been reading this list, you can see a pattern emerge: the writers love to take their favorite films and TV shows and music, and squeeze them into episodes throughout the series. And like Jaws, which is the invisible backbone of “Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm”, monster movies like Godzilla are the inspiration behind “Wormy”. More than just the ‘man versus nature’ motif, there’s a whole underwater versus land creature thing going on, and hilariously a misunderstanding of biology turns into a ripple effect for mass destruction and chaos. Paranoia spreads like wild fire, and only a show like SpongeBob could transform an innocent butterfly into a Kaiju. Wormy drifts from one place to another, and that’s a perfect excuse to get everyone in town involved in the story. It’s not often all the citizens in Bikini Bottom agree on something, and it’s refreshing to see them all afraid of something. It kind of unifies the characters, even though SpongeBob and Patrick are the ones doing all the fear mongering. Wormy also speaks to the inherent disgust we all have for insects, because when they’re close to you, you freak out. They just have a look and sound that’s unnerving, sort of like this episode. There’s a terrific apocalyptic weight to the events, and the jokes are on point, which makes it all the funnier. Imagine if Bikini Bottom wasn’t destroyed, how much worse this episode would have been?
You probably forgot this outstanding montage existed:
30. The Algae’s Always Greener (March 22nd, 2002)
Apparently it isn’t taboo at the Nickelodeon offices to suggest doing another Plankton episode. There are so many of them already, yet I don’t feel like me or the writing staff ever truly gets tired of utilizing the show’s (secretly) best character. If it was up to me, I would highlight and showcase him as much as I could, and “The Algae’s Always Greener” is the ultimate Plankton episode. It is the end-all, be-all storyline for Plankton, since it gives him exactly what he wants and shows him that having his dreams come true isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Much like It’s A Wonderful Life, we get an alternate timeline narrative device where Plankton understands what he takes for granted. He switches lives with Mr. Krabs using a time machine life switcher he built, and experiences everything Krabs does, but in a parallel universe.
It again steals a lot from The Twilight Zone, shamelessly, and I wouldn’t have it any other way; the show gets better when it goes crazy town on the sci-fi stuff. There’s so much irony to soak up in this episode, from the simple juxtaposition between Krab’s old life and Plankton’s new life, to the fact that a microscopic organism is now the father to a giant whale, and SpongeBob works the register and Squidward cooks patties since everything is possible in an alternate universe. Even though this show might not be totally grounded in reason or logic, this episode definitely flips SpongeBob fan’s expectations even more so than usual. It’s funny, in a cosmic sort of way, and you can’t really say that about most episodes, can you now?
29. I Had An Accident (October 4th, 2003)
If you’ve had a bad experience with something, or have felt an overwhelming amount of pain (physical or otherwise), you’ll undoubtedly be risk averse to avoid feeling any more pain. This manifests itself into a number of bad habits, and can be unhealthy, and in “I Had An Accident” SpongeBob goes through this entire process of risk aversion. A sandboarding accident breaks his butt, and SpongeBob decides to stay indoors. Forever. He avoids any and all contact with the outside world in fear that he’ll get hurt again (and have to live in the iron butt) and makes friends with Chip, Penny, and Used Napkin. It’s understandable, and sad, when told from his perspective, but the whole episode goes out of its way to show to SpongeBob, and the audience, the value of life.
All the fun you can have outside, missing out on friends and experiences, and personal (mental or otherwise) health are all examined, although at the end it’s all undermined by the underwater gorilla attack; which is, by the way, phenomenally goofy and out of left field. At least the moral is good: SpongeBob takes on his demons, risks his own safety for the sake of others, and his bravery is rewarded at the end. And by that, I mean a man in a gorilla suit rides two other men in a horse suit into the sunset, and then a middle class white family is disgusted and confused by this scene, and decides to turn off their television set.
You may remember this particular segment from:
28. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III (November 27th, 2000)
The second highest ranking MM & BB episode on our list, part III relies on SpongeBob and Patrick to NOT touch anything. Which really means the episode relies on them touching EVERYTHING, and the story hinges upon one single character for its entire run time: Man Ray. Man Ray is such a fantastic villain, in the classical sense, and of course only the nuttiest fans like SpongeBob and Patrick could be his foil. Which is so stupid yet utterly brilliant, that regular heroes cannot defeat him but two bumbling buffoons who idolize him can wither him down after just one afternoon of unintentional mind games and shenanigans. He’s a spin on the Aquaman villain Black Manta, much like many of the parodies of Aquaman on this show, and is named after this conceptual modern artist (who was big into the Dada and Surrealist movements).
His voice acting, his Shakespearean dialogue, his gravitas, it all culminates to a performance that is so irrevocably powerful, it basically had to be undercut by his Jack Kirby costume and the fact that he’s stuck in a kid’s cartoon show. Seeing him struggle to deal with SpongeBob and Patrick for an entire day, and laughing throughout (thanks to the Tickle Belt) leads to one of the most wonderful and surreal episodes in the show’s history. Man Ray’s evil smirk stuck on his helmet, his imposing stature, all just there for comedic effect. He could kill them at any moment, and that’s scary, but he’s at the whimsy to their tomfoolery because he’s trying to learn (or fake) being good for once in his life. It’s a great arc for a super villain, and the entire time I watch it I’m crying in laughter not only because of Man Ray himself, but that damn song that plays when the Tickle Belt is on. Plus, most of the story takes place in one location. That’s incredible.
27. Procrastination (November 30th, 2001)
It’s true that boundaries and rules inspire the best kind of creativity. Forcing constraints on yourself can fuel the best works, and I don’t want to go all Dogme 95, but very rarely can a show put an entire episode in one room. With one character. And somehow, some way, make it entertaining, never break the action, and find new ways to tell its story without the need for superficial or unnecessary extras. “Procrastination” has a lot of ideas, and manages to put them all into one story: SpongeBob does nothing but procrastinate. It has “classic episode” written all over it, since it has a timeless quality to it, and has a beautiful three act structure. He gets the assignment, he loafs off, and then he completes it, with a perfect punchline at the end (the essay wasn’t due at all). We’ve all done this exact same thing, goof off on important school work, and some people legitimately have a hard time focusing and concentrating on one task.
We know exactly what SpongeBob is doing this whole time, he knows he’s fooling around, and the other characters on the show know it too. Guilt begins to eat him alive, time continues to tick on, his attention ever shrinking, and the more SpongeBob spends doing anything else the harder the essay becomes. It’s not long before he’s hallucinating, and his dreams take on the kind of judgmental attitude a Greek Chorus would in a play. But by the end, all of the events he did during the day create the creativity he needs to complete the assignment. It’s not the funniest episode the show has, but one that sets a high standard for cartoons from a purely structural standpoint.
26. Sleepy Time (January 17th, 2000)
It takes a lot imagination and creativity to base an entire episode of a TV show only in your character’s dreams. You have to really know your cast, in and out, in order to pull something like that off. A story like that can run the risk of making things too weird, which a lot of ‘90s cartoons did, or making them too dull, or just so weird that following along isn’t worth it at all. The sweet spot is somewhere in between, a place “Sleepy Time” manages to be at for eleven straight minutes. As much fun as it is to see dreams visualized, it’s more fun to have SpongeBob wreck them and make everyone upset. His astral projection hopes from one lucid dream to another, like a video game character conquering levels, and succeeds in not only ruining people’s days consciously, but subconsciously as well. Gary is an omniscient intellectual who can talk,
Plankton is a giant monster, Mr. Krabs is Captain Ahab, Sandy is a daredevil, Squidward is a concert musician, and Patrick is an idiot; these reveal the inner most desires of each character, something most cartoons couldn’t bother with. No one has to catch the Herman Melville references to find this episode funny, but everyone has had a crazy dream before (and also one ruined by someone they know). “Sleepy Time” is an innovative and quintessential episode of SpongeBob, and marks a high point for the early days of the show. It’s whimsical and fantastical and wild, something the show is very well known for, and I think that distinction started with episodes like this.
You may remember this particular segment from:
25. Graveyard Shift (September 6th, 2002)
We’ve seen a few Halloween episodes make it onto the list already, and somehow there are even more left to go in the top 25. “Graveyard Shift” starts off with a fabulous premise: Mr. Krabs finds out that if he leaves the Krusty Krab open 24 hours a day, he can make more money. He doesn’t factor in paying his workers, nor the fact that nobody shows up in the middle of the night, but that’s beside the point. This leads to all sorts of spooky things going on after dark, which spirals out of control after Squidward tries to scare SpongeBob with the tale of the ‘Hash Slinging Slasher’. The writers know how to handle crafting a horror story and make it tense, and are deft enough to still make it appropriate for children of any age AND make it funny the entire time.
All of the details of Squidward’s story come back to haunt them, and the episode builds at a perfect pace. The power of Squidward’s storytelling is in full effect here, considering it not only spooks SpongeBob, but takes up a significant portion of the episode’s length. The last third really focuses on using your expectations against you, and the episode makes a great effort to frighten and amuse both the audience and SpongeBob and Squidward. Of course, it all gets explained by the end, if you don’t count Nosferatu showing up for no reason. It’s an ending punchline that might confuse a lot, and anger others, and only a small contingent of cinephiles will get it, which is the primary reason this isn’t ranked higher. I have one friend who is a super fan and swears this is the greatest episode, but it only lands on our list at 25. Sorry buddy.
You may remember this particular segment from:
24. No Weenies Allowed (March 15th, 2002)
The way “No Weenies Allowed” plays out is like a classic comedy bit. It’s literally just SpongeBob trying to get into a saloon, and the bouncer outside won’t let him in. That’s it, that’s the whole episode. But with such little to work off of initially, ends up being a fantastic and jam-packed episode. There’s no funnier place to be in that Weenie Hut Jr.’s, and no funnier Macguffin than the Salty’s Spitoon. There are a number of wonderful new characters introduced (and never brought back, which is a shame) like Reginald the bouncer, the two nerds at the bar arguing about semantics, and the robot bartender. Along with them are some masterful jokes with pitch perfect timing, an extravagant fight scene with Patrick, snappy dialogue, devastatingly real humor, and an ending that is downright brilliant. The editing is razor sharp, the story goes a mile a minute, and the longer SpongeBob goes without entrance in the bar the funnier it gets, because his plans become more elaborate and nonsensical. What makes the whole thing come together is the fact that you never see the inside of the Salty’s Spitoon. That may upset some viewers, and they may feel cheated out of a true ending, but then again, Godot never showed up at the end of Waiting for Godot, and you don’t see any critics bemoaning that, now do you? “No Weenies Allowed” is absolutely bananas and I love it to death.
You probably don’t even remember this clip. I didn’t until I saw it again:
23. Sailor Mouth (September 21st, 2001)
You have to have BALLS to make an episode of a children’s show about curse words. Cursing is a part of all languages, certainly, but to craft an entire narrative around the taboo associated with curse words? That blows my mind. Like, when you watch “Sailor Mouth”, you can obviously fill in the missing words with your imagination (hilariously masked with a dolphin’s squeal), and that can lead to some risky business, since this is made for kids. Or proclaims to be, anyways. It’s like the writers wanted to get fired, or something, and I have no idea how they even got this past the censors, especially at a time in America when we were all reeling from 9/11 the week prior. MTV wasn’t allowed to play certain songs, sports leagues were unsure if they were going to continue playing games, yet Nickelodeon let this air. To anyone, including toddlers who might just tune in accidentally.
I understand that it works in an effort to teach about not using curse words, but there is some downright dirty material in this episode, and I revel in it every time I watch. “Sailor Mouth” still has an effect thirteen years later. It’s still a funny episode, that’s structured and has all of the patented quirks to it, but with an added bite. Characters expressing frustration before basically involved using something like “barnacle” or “fish paste” as a surrogate for ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’, but here it is full blown in its allusions, and I have to commend and praise this episode for doing something South Park gets recognition for all of the time. Except this is less lazy and more creative.
This is the cleanest joke from this episode I could find:
22. Life of Crime (May 5th, 2001)
What’s worse than cursing in the SpongeBob universe? Stealing. There’s already been a few episodes involving theft on the list (Mr. Krabs was behind them all, ironically) yet none of them can reach the heights that “Life of Crime” hits. The guilt hits Patrick and SpongeBob pretty hard, and they immediately go on the run once their ‘stolen’ balloon pops. The best parts of this episode involve the two of them living away from Bikini Bottom, not that the law would have done anything, since it was National Free Balloon Day the whole time. Although the most memorable scene is the underwater fire meeting, where they decide to live as felons and then turn against each other for the dumbest possible reason: Patrick thinks SpongeBob stole his candy bar. The ensuing scene with the chocolate bar is one of the greatest scenes in this show’s history, and that does sound rather hyperbolic, but that really is their “Who’s On First?” routine.
It’s the most remarkable comedy bit you could possibly find on YouTube if you Google ‘memorable SpongeBob moments’. And if you don’t think it’s as historic as I say it is, then go ask somebody about “liar liar plants for hire” and they’ll immediately respond “it’s pants on fire Patrick” and then you get to say “well you would know” since everyone on Earth has seen that exchange a billion times by now. Beyond that scene, not a single second of the rest of the episode is wasted, and the ending wraps up the moral of the story in a nice bow. “Life of Crime” is a lean and well-crafted episode that I think is a riot. Where else can you find a show that involves two criminals going on the lamb after stealing a balloon? Nowhere. And I’ve checked.
You may remember this particular segment from:
21. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V (June 1st, 2002)
Well, this is it. This is the highest ranking MM&BB episode, which makes it the best one. It really is the end-all, be-all, quintessential, definitive episode for Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, and it would have worked as a great send-off if it weren’t for the sixth iteration they made (it’s not very good). I think deep down, we all knew Barnacle Boy hated playing second fiddle to an old geezer like Mermaid Man, but his meltdown at the Krusty Krab gives a good enough reason to him to turn into a super villain. Much like the Winter Soldier, or Jean Grey’s transformation into Dark Phoenix, Barnacle ‘Man’ spends the episode with the Dirty Bubble and Man Ray, which prompts the usual cast of SpongeBob characters to form a Justice League/Avengers type super group (that is very similar to the Fantastic Four).
This is one of the best premises for a plot you could possibly ask for, and it leads to some of the silliest and most enjoyable super hero parodies I’ve seen in years. The live action ‘Chief’, make-out reef, the way their powers backfire on them, the lonely teenager and his pillow, ding dong ditching; it’s all so seminal to the MM&BB series now, I can’t think of them in their suits without thinking of this episode. This is a rip-roaring, high octane, looney, and side-splitting episode that is not really worthy of my cliché adjectives but definitely deserves a spot on our list near the top 20. I mean, go back and listen to the music they use, that ‘60s era football music. It’s sublime.
What language is this, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore:
20. The Secret Box (September 7th, 2001)
One thing you can always rely on when predicting human behavior: we love secrets. A good secret is the best thing in the world to some people, because then you can sell it, keep it, reveal it, use it to your advantage, savor it, cherish it, or bury it. Secrets are the best pieces of information we carry around with us, and can be very dangerous when at the disposal of storytellers. SpongeBob says early on in this episode “It’s not a secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets. Secretly.” So in one block of dialogue, SpongeBob has not only laid out exactly why we are interested in secrets, but also explains inherently why this episode is so great. If it didn’t carefully build the tantalizing intrigue, and then execute on the final twist, I don’t think it would be as excellent as it is. It really does make you wonder what the hell Patrick has in that box, and why it’s so funny to him.
The whole time SpongeBob gets into comical schemes and shticks to pry the box away from Pat, and this is strenuous on their friendship. Not being able to share with one another is a big deal, and their relationship is on the verge of breaking the entire time. I think the reason most people watch the show is the dynamic SpongeBob and Patrick have, and the history of their relationship is examined underneath all of the secret box stuff. The big mystery, though, is hinted at, and it’s a great reveal. We don’t get to see the embarrassing photos of SpongeBob at the Christmas party, but I don’t think that’s necessary we do so. These are all mandatory viewing for everyone ages three and up. The sound effects alone, when SpongeBob is sneaking into Patrick’s house, are worth it. Incredibly funny stuff, those sound effects. I am a huge sucker for good audio.
This is the greatest clip of SpongeBob Squarepants out of context ever:
19. Krab Borg (March 29th, 2002)
Much has been written on the vast amount of ‘50s and ‘60s pop culture that’s stuffed into SpongeBob Squarepants. The art design is that of a Hawaiian Elvis movie, the music is all vintage, the technology everyone owns is rather outdated (radios and antenna televisions are the most advanced things, even computers are so big they fit in entire rooms), and the live action footage is universally pre-1970’s. So the thought that one of the writers, as a child, stayed up too late and watched a movie about robots taking over the world and then turned that into the plot of “Krab Borg”? That seems very plausible, and I’m sure they kept that childhood fear around and rolled it into the plot of this episode. SpongeBob lets his imagination run amok, and it becomes so wild that he starts to connect dots that aren’t there. The paranoia becomes so rampant that he starts hallucinating, and after some ill-timed coincidences, Mr. Krabs becomes the target of a robot conspiracy. That’s fucking awesome, as a storyline.
What makes this episode so much fun though is how perfect the coincidences are with Krabs, and that Squidward becomes wrapped up in it too. Much like “Graveyard Shift”, the straight man (Squidward) has to ridicule and bounce ideas off of the crazy one (SpongeBob), and once the two get on the same page about something, like say the Hash Slinging Slasher or Robot Krabs, all hell breaks loose and the story becomes much more interesting and zany. What helps more is the astounding music and sound effects that can make a well-timed zoom-in funnier, make a scene tenser, make Squidward’s jokes funnier, and make Mr. Krabs dance on top of his desk. This is a completely well rounded and beautifully structured episode with a great script and some very memorable moments and images. Just look at this conversation, below. Why is that so iconic, still to this day? It’s just noises, yet with the proper context it’s hilarious.
Beep boo boo bop?
18. Patty Hype (February 17th, 2001)
Sometimes revenge can be the best fuel, and your best work can come out of it. SpongeBob gets his good idea shot down, and laughed at, and soon his stick-to-itiveness and passion transform his Pretty Patties into a booming industry. The newest culinary sensation in Bikini Bottom becomes a mob scene, and this classic role reversal then shifts into a Faustian deal for Mr. Krabs that backfires and blows up right in his face. “Patty Hype” is not only gut busting and witty, it’s filled with a lot of irony and satire. Be careful what you ask for, because it could end up ruining you financially, and then the whole city will come to hate you the very next day. Strangely enough, this episode feels a little slim, and it flew by when I rewatched it for this list. It has a wealth of great jokes, like the squeaky pickles and the inflatable pants, but I can’t help but think what more we could have got from “Patty Hype” if it were just a tad longer. But, if you try and make any of these 11 minute episodes longer, they might just feel bloated and unwieldy, so I appreciate how little fat there is to the story here. Any time the entire town is showcased as one singular character, you usually get some great lines. And every time Bikini Bottom shows up in a story the number of residents changes, which I think is pretty funny that the writers don’t keep track of that stuff.
17. Snowball Effect (February 22nd, 2002)
Despite the fact that the opening of this episode seems like it’s going to take on global warming and climate change, “Snowball Effect” has absolutely no agenda to push onto anyone. There isn’t a single preachy line uttered, and is rather concerned with childish wonder more than anything else. Snow very rarely hits Bikini Bottom, and there are only a handful of Christmas themed episodes (I don’t think any of them are good) except for this one. This is the only really consistently funny and engaging episode to deal with snow in a meaningful capacity. Most of the story revolves around snowball fights, and who gets into them, and how they can escalate quickly, and that mostly incorporates a lot of physical comedy. But what I adore about this show is that it can be more than just a collection of tiny bits strung together; it really goes out of its way to throw in the necessary SpongeBob idiosyncrasies to make it more than just empty slapstick. The patented heightened sound effects are added to menial tasks like making snowballs or walking in the snow, there’s a good amount of word play in the script at all times, and as all cartoons do, physics are manipulated to make the action…well, overly cartoony. “Snowball Effect” has a wide comedy tool belt it utilizes: slow-mo, repeated shots, swift editing, smart puns, and of course Squidward becoming too enamored with Patrick and SpongeBob’s shenanigans. It’s always engrossing, and channels our inner child to make a merely okay premise into an amazing display of comedy.
Some guy put together a montage for me, so my work here is done:
16. My Pretty Seahorse (July 12th, 2002)
Whenever this show introduces a new character, it’s a crapshoot on whether they’re good or bad. It likes sticking to its main cast a lot, and even if someone new turns out to be great they basically get rid of them by the next episode (you remember Bubble Bass or Flats or the robot bartender from Weenie Hut Jr.’s? They ever come back?). Mystery the Seahorse is a fabulous addition, and I really like the dynamic SpongeBob and her have throughout the episode. The story follows the same format as the classic western Shane and the family tragedy Old Yeller, and the original Air Bud, and the ending steals from Harry and the Hendersons, where SpongeBob has to release his pet in an emotional scene. It’s sort of scripted, but “My Pretty Seahorse” is probably the episode that has the most amount of heart in it.
The story never misses a beat to keep Mystery central to the plot, and it gives the events a soul. It’s heartbreaking to have Mr. Krabs basically tell SpongeBob that it’s either his job or the horse, and the entire time you just know it’s going to rip the two apart. I don’t care how trite it is, they really build up Mystery to be a loveable character, and it would have been great to have her around for more episodes. But every time I watch, I know that ending is coming, and I’ve never cried while watching a cartoon but I would imagine it’s the episodes like these that’ll get me one of these days. This show may be a little too energetic and capricious to ever consider being actually emotional or melodramatic, but the story beats are all there and the ending is really sad. This one tugs at the right heart strings. Bonus points: the bowl of onions that appears all the time. One of the all-time best running gags you’ll ever see.
This is my favorite joke from the show, period:
15. One Krab’s Trash (February 22nd, 2002)
Typically these episodes boil down to one of a few things: either the writers are trying to go for something thematically, they’re just doing genre exercises with homages to other classical stories, or are purely making comedy routines with a story written around the jokes. And I can usually pinpoint what an episode is, and break it down into smaller components, and then analyze and talk about each one. But I have no idea what in the hell “One Krab’s Trash” is. Honestly, other than the title alluding to the old saying ‘one man’s trash is another man’s treasure’, there is just a series of misfortunate events here on display. Krabs is a cheapskate, and tries to hustle everyone into thinking garbage are antiques, and then he goes on a wild goose chase only to be no richer than he started. and karma is the culprit for all of it. Just a big slap in the face at the end, and it’s ingenious.
It’s a very discombobulated episode too, since the opening and the closing come full circle but everything in the middle is just plain odd. It turns into a heist mission, then a horror film, then a supernatural thriller, then a swashbuckling adventure movie, and it all is centered around a cynical core of irony, wrapped up in some Woody Allen jazz. But no matter the way it’s structured, or how it’s presented, this is absolutely one of the greatest episodes of the show. Period. It may be all over the place, but I think there’s a method to the madness here. Just a flurry of in-jokes and ridiculous writing from start to finish; for example: “Licking door knobs is illegal on other planets.” Like, what in the hell is that? That’s preposterous dialouge. It’s also sheer brilliance since it makes me chuckle every time I see it. You don’t need to understand why the plot of this episode happens or what is going on to enjoy it, and I’m usually against cartoons that do that, but I love SpongeBob so I don’t know what to tell you. Bonus points: the name of the graveyard is “Floaters Cemetary”. I see what you did there, writers.
You may fondly remember this segment from:
14. Doing Time (January 21st, 2002)
The main conceit of this episode is a very Twilight Zone-esque narrative device: SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff drive off a cliff, and as they careen into their impending doom Mrs. Puff wakes up from a dream, and this repeats indefinitely. Now, the show has always been in an exaggerated world, but this is downright nihilistic and terrifying, and at times dizzying. The fantastical elements only add to how funny/sad “Doing Time” is, considering most of it is just aping prison break-out storylines, except Mrs. Puff wants to be in jail and SpongeBob wants to break her out. That kind of reversal is fine and all, but I think it works incredibly well because that’s exactly what those characters would do. It doesn’t alter their main motivations or character types, it uses them to their advantage when busting jailbreak genre conventions. Add to that some devastating jokes, primarily from the striking use of editing.
A lot of the humor comes from one line of dialogue being juxtaposed to a different image, and there is a great use of cuts throughout the episode. For instance, there’s a montage that’s there to convey the monotony of life, and it’s really clever punchline, and only takes up like ten seconds of screen time. The events in this episode are so bizarre, and the whole story is essentially Mrs. Puff’s paranoid psychosis over SpongeBob, and somehow THAT’S not the weirdest part of it. And the accompanying sight gags are so classic: the red ink memoir that’s destroyed, the constant cutting to a new dream, SpongeBob robbing a bank with a sock over his face, it all just comes together to form this haywire and frantic episode that is so brooding and dripping with existential dread, that it almost lands in our top ten. I understand some people may be thrown off by the last third change-up, but I like it quite a bit.
You may remember this particular segment from:
13. Wet Painters (May 10th, 2002)
At one point or another, I had this episode in the top ten, and I waivered a lot with it, until finally settling on thirteenth. “Wet Painters” is absolutely one of my all-time favorites, but I had to examine what being the best was, in proportion to what I liked the most personally, since having a taste in comedy and having opinions on what is good or bad is totally subjective. The plot is so: Mr. Krabs needs SpongeBob and Patrick to paint his walls, and he gives them permanent paint. Hilarity ensues. It’s very similar to a few Mr. Bean sketches, and the entire story is just a series of jokes, escalating in intensity. The stakes are set at the outset, ‘do the job or Mr. Krabs will kill them’, and the suspense/humor doesn’t necessarily come from their attempts to paint the house, but from the crazy antics in doing so. Patrick seems to love amping up the misery, and whenever something can go wrong, he just makes it so much worse.
The second act comes when they finish painting the whole house, but get a tiny drop on Mr. Krabs’ first dollar he ever earned. Not trying to screw up is one thing, but failing to fix a screw-up is even funnier. The storytelling and the comedy go hand in hand here, and this is one of the tightest scripts you’ll come across with this show. Like, obviously no one would own a vending machine in their house, and the only reason it’s there is to make a great joke. But who cares! This is SpongeBob Squarepants, there is no room for realism here. But what makes this episode exceptional is the final act, when Mr. Krabs comes home. I could not stop laughing at the Doll-o-rama pun, even though I’ve seen that a million times. That’s when you know you have something really funny, when it becomes timeless. “Wet Painters” is as an enduring episode of this show as you can find, even those it maybe isn’t as ambitious as the episodes ranked above it. Or below it. I don’t know how numbers work, I’m sorry.
This isn’t the best clip from the episode, but it’s the only one I found online:
12. Chocolate With Nuts (June 1st, 2002)
“Chocolate With Nuts” is pure anarchy. There is no real organization to any of it, it’s strung together in a loose stream of consciousness comprised of running gags, and it’s utterly batshit insane. SpongeBob and Patrick want to become entrepreneurs, so they become traveling chocolate bar salesman. This goes south immediately, and they spend the entire episode getting bamboozled, scammed, shut down, insulted, and demeaned. And it could not be any funnier. This is a fan favorite, and one of the most popular episodes, especially with the “CHOCOLATE” guy who yells and chases them around a lot. The real MVP is the con artist, who came straight out of the The Sting, and sets up some lovely scenes. What’s also great is how shameless and immoral this episode is, since SpongeBob and Patrick are horrible salesman who knowingly lie to their customers, and still end up making a profit.
That con artist guy does not get his comeuppance. What are children supposed to learn from that? It’s okay to stretch the truth and exaggerate just until you make enough money? In any case, the best thing about this episode is the rapid fire nature to their journey, and the multitude of people they run into. The townspeople aren’t throwaway characters, they make the best of limited screen time, either by being memorable in appearance or through the dialogue. I love when everyone in Bikini Bottom is used in an episode, since they’re the most fascinating cast of a fictional city I’ve ever seen. I mean, they get swindled by amateur grifters, and buy more chocolate than they can eat. Some of them are extremely savvy, and some of them are total suckers; I could watch the escapades of Bikini Bottom forever, if they remain as hysterical and eccentric as they do in “Chocolate With Nuts”.
You may remember this particular segment from:
11. Arrgh! (March 15th, 2000)
“Arrgh!” is one of the single greatest adventures in the show’s history. It’s a thrilling, entertaining, often times perilous yet always amusing journey that never gets tired no matter how many times I’ve seen it. I think it’s because we’ve all been really into a game at some point in our lives, whether it be a board game or a video game or a sport or what have you, and just wanted to enjoy it with as many people as we can for as long as we have fun with it. ‘The Flying Dutchman’s Treasure Hunt’ leads to a twisted obsession which consumes Mr. Krabs, and turns into a lighthearted escapade that dissolves into madness and mutiny. Although the secret of what map Mr. Krabs is using is incredibly easy to figure out, and the suspense there is rather thin, that only manages to barely dent an otherwise perfect episode.
I remember when this show took on lots of underwater related topics, and stuck to stories that concerned underwater creatures. Like pirates, and the dangers of breathing air. Later seasons tackled all sorts of subjects, like crumbling marriages and being institutionalized and bullying and whatnot, but I like the simplicity here with “Arrgh!”. The entire narrative, every scene, every bit of dialogue, pushes the story forward and reveals character, and it all pertains to the plot at hand. Even the jokes stick close to the treasure hunt and being a pirate, and it doesn’t rely on non-sequiturs or shock humor or anything else that’s not central to the plot. It’s pure storytelling and it’s always captivating, right down to the last line. If it wasn’t for the next episode on our list, this would be the #1 greatest episode from Season 1. This is an early classic, a fan favorite, and I still hear this everywhere I go. Literally everywhere.
THE MAP THE MAP THE MAP GOTTA LOOK AT IT:
10. Rock Bottom (March 15th, 2000)
Here it is: the top ten. And what better way to start the final spots on our list, the best of the best, with the definitive first season episode? The best episode of the early days of this show is unquestionably “Rock Bottom” and I would say this is the defining and emblematic episode for SpongeBob’s success. It’s an exemplary piece of comedy, and was the first transcendent step forward for the show; everyone has seen this episode and everyone remembers it. Better yet, everyone thinks it’s funny. It starts off at Glove World, which could have been the setting for its own episode back then (it later was). I have no idea why Glove World is so funny, maybe because it’s so stupid, but once that bus leaves Bikini Bottom, it goes into another dimension. The town of Rock Bottom is ostensibly from the Twilight Zone, and everything in it makes no sense whatsoever. SpongeBob is stranded in the middle of nowhere, and without going deeper into the town, and no other real characters to talk to or anything around him, the writers delicately crafted a narrative to isolate him and also give SpongeBob enough material to work with.
The jokes are incredible, the slapstick never better, and the creature designs truly weird and scary. But I think what we all appreciate the most about “Rock Bottom” are the various ways SpongeBob misses the buses that drive by. His bit with the candy bar vending machine is a 21st century Monty Python skit, and SpongeBob is downright cursed. He’s lost in Rock Bottom and there is nothing he can do about it, and it seems like his luck gets worse by the second. A living embodiment of Murphy’s Law, Rock Bottom is indifferent to his needs and he is unfairly punished for being stranded. It’s like a Coen Brothers film, equal parts hilarious and sad. Also, I’ve never seen a fart noise be used as a source of comedy AND as a terrifying sound in the night. If you don’t love “Rock Bottom” then there is something wrong with you.
This segment is famous for this clip:
9. Frankendoodle (January 21st, 2002)
I think the most criminally underrated part of this show is all of the live action footage used. On the whole, it adds so much to not only each episode but helps to establish the art style and tone and satire that makes SpongeBob so special. It reminds me of the music video for “Black Hole Sun”, where everything is exaggerated and it mocks an earlier era in American history, including outdated technology and retro art designs, and “Frankendoodle” has a hint of that going on throughout it. The naïve residents of Bikini Bottom are welcomed by an outside force unknown to their world, a pencil from the surface, and it grants them magical powers: the power to draw things that come alive. The episode isn’t played like a sci-fi story, but manages to keep some nice fantasy elements. It also harps on the responsibility of the artist, and the vast creativity of art and storytelling in general, without bashing the audience over the head with its overt message.
Both wonderful and dangerous things can come out of a pencil, and someone’s mind, and soon an adventure blossoms out of that giant pencil. One of the best antagonists the show has ever produced is literally thought up and created in this episode, DoodleBob, and he’s a real threat to everyone around him, like Frankenstein’s monster. “Frankendoodle” is both thrilling and comedic, and takes a few cues from Chaplin, the Marx Brothers, and Universal monster movies from the ‘30s and ‘40s. Only this show could incorporate so much contextuality, and have a few meta jokes, and not feel burdened down by references or all the on-the-nose humor, which a lot of other shows get wrong. You want your meta-humor and your in-jokes to be homages that don’t stop the flow of the narrative, instead of being a big ‘hey look at what line we took from that famous thing!’ which is a major pet peeve of mine. But “Frankendoodle” is worthy of being in the top ten for its ingenuity and originality, and its imagination is only rivaled by another episode further down the list (you’ll know it when you see it, it involves a box).
This segment is famous for these noises:
8. Mid-Life Crustacean (January 24th, 2003)
“Mr. Krabs has a mid-life crisis.” As a logline, that has the potential to be a good episode, but if you’ve seen “Mid-Life Crustacean” you’ll know it’s a killer episode. The first minute of the story has no words in it, no dialogue whatsoever; it just uses visual cues and key sounds and one particularly funny song to set up the story completely. Mr. Krabs is concerned by his age, burdened by his withering body, and he’s ready to do something to shake up his life. This gives him the motivation to go out on the town for some debauchery with SpongeBob and Patrick, which results in the greatest montage the show has ever produced (see below for a snippet). This is a ridiculously fast paced, quick witted, and very self-aware episode. It also has some interesting POV shots, wisely repeats some lines of dialogue in hilarious fashion (are you ready to par-tay?), and the story goes all over town to some great new locations for its gags, like under the highway and to ‘Bunny Buns’. What I like so much is that it equally takes shots at SpongeBob and Patrick being losers, as much as it does Mr. Krabs. The whole third act about the panty raid should not be on Nickelodeon, let alone any children’s programming, yet it still managed to sneak in and it’s a classic ending to a hysterical episode. You don’t even need to have seen those ‘80s college party comedies to like this episode. NOT LAME
This segment is famous for this line:
7. Dying For Pie (December 28th, 2000)
What I find astonishing is that “Dying For Pie”, the most mature, heaviest episode of SpongeBob Squarepants ever made, was released in the same calendar year as “Valentine’s Day” and “Suds”, which are, tone wise, polar opposite episodes. In 2000, Season 1 ended and Season 2 began, and with it came an increase in wit, and a new emphasis on story with more thematic elements, and by the end of the year we get hit with “Dying For Pie”. Isn’t that incredible? Anyways, this is the first time in the series history we actually get to see Squidward be sympathetic towards SpongeBob, and it’s very rare that he takes pity on him. According to the SpongeBob Wiki, where I get a lot of my information from, “this episode marks the first time that we see a side of Squidward we have never seen before. It shows that even though he says multiple times in the series he absolutely hates him, Squidward cares about SpongeBob enough to make sure he dies happy.” Also, this is the first large scale explosion, and the first time blood ever appears on the show. Having blood and explosions and empathy isn’t what makes this episode dark, it’s the plot: SpongeBob is going to die.
That’s fucked up for a kids show, and the story really does not give a single hint to the fact that he isn’t going to die. The whole time the viewer and Squidward are sure he’s a goner, and it’s gripping the whole way through, right down to the twist ending. Yet, through the doom and gloom, the show doesn’t revel in the misery; it opts to make SpongeBob’s final day a positive one, and still cranks out some great jokes and keeps the grim humor to a minimum. This is some pretty ballsy storytelling when you consider the fanbase for the show, and the episode really sticks to its guns the entire time. This is as much a character study for Squidward as it is about SpongeBob’s impending death. He goes from not caring about SpongeBob’s sweater gift, to making sure his last minutes under the sea are happy. That’s the best arc you could ask for in an episode about pies; Squidward’s guilt about murdering SpongeBob is so much that he admits some deep rooted emotions, all the while making us laugh. And for walking that fine line masterfully, this episode makes our top ten.
This segment is famous for this scene:
6. Nasty Patty (March 1st, 2002)
So from the darkest and most mature episode in SpongeBob history, we now arrive at the second darkest and most mature episode in SpongeBob history! “Nasty Patty” is only rivaled by “Dying For Pie” in its graphic, melancholy, and depressing content but second to none in its parody of both the noir and horror genres. Many an episode is dedicated to detective stories, mysteries, slashers, monster films, and scary movies of old, but this one takes the cake in its genre deconstruction. The opening frame shows a dark and stormy night at Bikini Bottom, and the ominous tone is set once the French narrator says that SpongeBob thought he “killed the health inspector”. It immediately tells us the plot, and brings with it a set of questions that we have to know, thus forcing the audience to watch the episode (that’s called hooking in the viewer). What happened to the health inspector? How did he die? How are SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs involved? Why do they think he’s dead? Did they murder him? Is he really dead? Thankfully the narrative unfolds in such a way that we learn all of the answers to these questions, all the while going on a wild goose chase, that involves imposters, fraud, murder, coercion, blackmail, cover-ups, paranoia, and suspicious activity fit for a Raymond Chandler novel.
This is such a messed up episode, where SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs do terrible awful things, like laugh at the suffering of a choking man, lie to the police, sell each other out, and hide a corpse. None of this sounds very SpongeBob Squarepants to me; it’s more akin to an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent, but somehow, someway it remains appropriate for kids and still is super funny the whole way through. You don’t have to be a sick or twisted person to enjoy watching the events of “Nasty Patty”, but it might help. Also, the toned-down color palette works well with the grim mood set, and once it starts raining this episode becomes absolutely gorgeous. The shadows, the lighting, it all screams vintage noir, and it looks stunning. Everything about how this episode is made comes together perfectly, and the plot matches the setting and the tone and the music, and it’s basically a flawless adaptation of a million other stories that came before it. There are some links to the works of Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King and R.L. Stine, and I’m sure they would find that analogy very apt.
This is honestly the best YouTube video I could find on this segment:
5. Fry Cook Games (September 28th, 2001)
Before I talk about this episode, I just wanted to let everyone know that there’s a gay cartoon character bracket that went up recently, and Squidward was somehow thought to be a gay character. He’s not. The character that should be in that bracket is SpongeBob, and the best case for why I’m right (not that any of this matters) is “Fry Cook Games”. I remember this episode upset some people, because the ending is downright risqué. Again, not that there’s anything wrong with two men holding hands in their underwear, it’s just super weird to see the show go in that direction. The wrestling, the sweaty muscles, SpongeBob and Patrick’s friendship and love for one another overcoming their minor feud, the pink underwear, the hand holding (that might have been cut from future airings of the episode), SpongeBob’s fingernails having to be polished all the time; it all adds up to the same conclusion for me, but I’m fully aware that this is inconsequential, totally dumb to think about, and should not be entertained as an actual theory. Any who, now that I got that out of the way, let me explain why “Fry Cook Games” is the fifth best episode of the show: because it’s hysterical.
Like, maybe the single funniest episode of the show. That’s a tough call, for sure, and totally subjective and arguable, but for me the next four episodes on the list all do something beyond be funny, while “Fry Cook Games” really just relies on the comedy and the weird pseudo-sexual stuff throughout. And the 3D animation / TV broadcast satire at the beginning, I suppose. This is just a silly and shallow parody of the Olympics, and is just an excuse to bring everyone together for a series of jokes. Instead of skits, we have Patrick and SpongeBob competing in games, with Mr. Krabs and Plankton channeling their rivalry through their coaching/brainwashing. The attention to detail here is outstanding, the humor is outlandish, there’s plenty of meta commentary, and there’s just the right amount of non-sequiturs to make everything particularly special. There’s a crazy amount of memorable lines, a stupendous script keeping things unabashedly off kilter and funny, lots of idiosyncratic touches with the food jokes, and it’s all wrapped in a neat package full of ‘80s heavy metal. “Fry Cook Games” goes by very fast, it has a lot going on constantly, never lets up, and if you stop for a single second to think about it all it doesn’t make a lick of sense. Why are they doing this again? What do they win besides medals? Where did they get all that food from? Aren’t both of their restaurants unpopular? Why doesn’t the town consider SpongeBob to be a famous athlete? Who cares, is my answer.
This segment is most famous for this moment:
4. Krusty Krab Training Video (May 10th, 2002)
So far, I’ve written 25,000 words up to this point, all about SpongeBob. I may have repeated myself a few times, used a lot of adjectives or hyperbolic statements a lot, and that’s understandable. One phrase I’ve used a lot may have been “this episode is unlike anything I’ve seen before”. So let me make this painfully clear and emphatic: there is literally no other episode of SpongeBob Squarepants or any cartoon I’ve seen that is like the “Krusty Krab Training Video”. It is a wholly original and completely separate entity that stands out in every conceivable way, and can never be imitated or copied, topped or repeated again. There is simply too much to talk about, too much to break down about this episode to fit onto this list, and I would go insane writing about it too much. It takes everything we all like about the show, fits it into a condense eleven minutes, and still is not representative of any other episode. It just stands alone, in its own category, and I’m still flabbergasted by it today.
The word play, the narrator, the footage, the transitions, the editing, the surrealistic elements, the meta commentary, the 4th wall breaking, it all is just so off-the-wall it surpasses almost every other cartoon special ever made. The Disney-esque music is pure bliss, the jokes spring to life, and the story being told isn’t centered on a protagonist or antagonist, and there’s no arc. It breaks so many rules with glee that it turns into a positive attribute instead of feeling like a weird failed experiment. The narrator is the closest thing to a real character you’ll find in this episode, since the regular cast is boiled down to archetypes for the sake of the training video. But still, this isn’t quite such a departure comedy wise that a normal viewer couldn’t follow along, and it adds in some background to the Krusty Krab’s history, and I think it generally fits the tone of the show properly. You can tell the writers and animators had a lot of fun making this episode, let alone coming up with the ideas for it. There’s a ton of detail hidden everywhere, in the font and the cut little animations and the title cards, and an admiration for the show is within every frame. Kind of like the sweater with love in every stitch; the “Krusty Krab Training Video” is exactly like that, except the stitches are shots in an episode and not a sweater.
This segment is most famous for this scene:
3. Idiot Box (March 1st, 2002)
Where the “Krusty Krab Training Video” went buck wild and tossed a lot of at you until you went into sensory overload, “Idiot Box” does less with more. It removes a crucial part of a TV show, the visuals, and emphasizes sound over images. Audio is secretly the most important part of any film or TV show, and people would rather they get good audio quality with crappy video quality than the other way around. Trust me; hearing what people have to say is more important than what they look like. That’s why we elect politicians and not models. Anyways, “Idiot Box” is about using imagination to come up with fantastical and amazing stories, which is exactly what the writers did to create an episode like this in the first place. They let you, the viewer, envision the stories Patrick and SpongeBob come up with, and both you and Squidward are stupefied by how they have so much fun with literally nothing but a box. It’s impressive since not once do we see Robot Pirate Island, or the avalanche, or a rocket ship, or anything else they come up with, and it’s no less engrossing or thrilling for it.
It’s a very simplified premise for an episode, just the three best characters talking to each other, and the conflict comes from that and not anything external. It’s refreshing to watch something that sticks so close to the writing, and the performances, and the chemistry between the cast, and the magic is created out of the plot, instead of focusing on ancillary factors. It also works to deliver an anti-television, pro-‘go outside and use your imagination’ moral that is ironic because this is a television show and you’d think the staff would want you to keep watching. It also ahs this underlying through line about sticking to your inner child and escaping reality by creating your own adventures and fun. The sound design alone, the ambiance of the swelling music, and the intensity made from just sound and voices, it’s all top notch, right up to the ending pun. Also, Tom Kenny has never been better as SpongeBob; this is maybe his best work to date. More shows need to take lessons from “Idiot Box”. Except the motif about boxes, that wouldn’t make sense outside of the context established by this episode.
This plaque is to commemorate the brave pirates who gave their lives to keep this box sage from the Robot Menace. Lest we forget:
2. Band Geeks (September 7th, 2001)
Well, you knew it had to be way up high on this list. In fact, many of you (including me) were pretty sure it was going to be number 1. When I sat down to tackle this endeavor, I had an ultimate question to answer. Where would “Band Geeks” end up on the list? It’s arguably the most famous episode of the show, the one people know the best, it has some of the best and most quotable lines, and has spawned countless memes across the Internet. And when I re-watch it, I still marvel at how jam-packed this episode is with jokes. Every scene, every line, every moment, every beat: consistently funny. And not just in a ‘chuckle’ sort of funny, it’s completely laugh-out-loud funny. “Band Geeks” isn’t just tongue-in-cheek. The tongue rips right through the cheek. It’s fierce, unrelenting comedy at its best, and it all has to do with a marching band. How often can you claim a show has one of its best episodes based on a marching band? Not many. This was the debut of Squilliam Fancyson III, who is the archrival of Squidward and really is only there to serve one purpose: be the opposite of Squidward, so he can motive some sort of revenge plan for the plot to follow. Although I do like him, I understand he’s no more than a simple narrative tool the writers utilize to get Squidward to embark on his journey of lies.
And when you look at the arc of the story, Squidward lies to get what he wants, gives up, has his band do all the work, and then is rewarded by doing nothing. The glory isn’t really earned, but it’s hard to argue that it matters too much. What does matter is the vast array of humor, puns, running gags, band in-jokes, and general tomfoolery. The real MVP of this episode are the residents of Bikini Bottom, who come together to make the best moments. I love the citizens of Bikini Bottom, and this is the ultimate display of their eagerness and stupidity. Without them, we wouldn’t have “big meaty claws!” or “Correct!” or “now the talking cheese is going to preach to us” and all of the other awesome jokes in this episode. The ending performance of “Sweet Victory” has really become something else, and continues to thrive not only in the Internet’s consciousness but in the SpongeBob community’s as well. “Band Geeks” is an enduring, timeless classic, and I’m sure there are tons of people complaining that it didn’t get the top spot. Sorry folks, there’s one better than this.
Let’s just get it out of the way, I know you’re all thinking it too:
1. Shanghaied (March 9th, 2001)
We’ve gone through 99 episodes, and I’ve never been able to talk about the best character on SpongeBob Squarepants: Patchy the Pirate. He’ somehow managed to dodge being in any good episodes, except for this one, and I think the Patchy sequences are the best thing about this show. Genuinely I do. I don’t care what anybody thinks, I die laughing at Tom Kenny dressed as a pirate, and Potty the Parrot dangling next to him from strings. He’s like Krusty the Clown, but in Encino, California and is a total slave to children’s programming instead of the other way around. His antics are part kid’s show host spoof, part Pee Wee Herman rip-off, and part meta commentary on all of the diehard fans of the show, and if I could watch a spinoff of SpongeBob that only involved Patchy that would be my favorite show ever. So as SpongeBob’s number one fan, Patchy hosts “Patchy’s Pick” to introduce the greatest SpongeBob episode of all time, “Shanghaied”, and instead of the typical eleven minute segment we get a beefy sixteen minute juggernaut of comedy, bookended by the Patchy stuff. Not only is this my all-time favorite episode, it’s Patchy’s too.
If you research the history of “Shanghaied” you’ll find it has a strange broadcast history. It originally aired with Rugrats In Paris in the year 2000, which makes it the only SpongeBob short to appear in a movie theater. There was also a call-in vote on the ending of “Shanghaied”, which could have gone one of three ways, and only on the DVD can you watch the alternate endings. And the way they air this episode on TV now is shortened and reduced, and the old footage of Patchy doing the poll is super hard to track down. It was originally titled “SpongeBob’s You Wish Spectacular Special” but I’m not going to refer to it as that since it gets confusing. Nevertheless, if you are only able to watch “Shanghaied” without the Patchy stuff, do so, because it is still number one regardless.
If I were to introduce anyone to SpongeBob for the first time, I would choose “Shanghaied” to show them. It presents the characters exactly how they are so that anybody can pick up the gist of what the show is like. It perfectly encapsulates the humor that SpongeBob is known for, and adds in a touch of offbeat comedy that isn’t overwhelming or too strange for casual fans. Although that hell portal “Fly of Despair” Squidward is trapped in sure is scary and fucked up. Anyways, this is the best Flying Dutchman episode as well, and gives him a lot to do, as well as features the always wonderful dynamic between Squidward, SpongeBob, and Patrick we all know and love.
The plot begins when the sky has a baby, and an anchor hits SpongeBob’s pineapple and then Squidward’s tiki house. They climb the anchor and find its part of the Dutchman’s ship, and then become part of his ghostly crew. The dialogue is impeccable, the jokes are hilarious, and there’s a nice repetition and variation to the gags that make them funnier as the episode goes on. There have never been aquatic shenanigans quite like the ones in “Shanghaied”, and they hold up on every single viewing. I’ve been watching this episode for thirteen years now, and I still find it funny, and I probably will for the next thirty. You find a better scene than the perfume department at Macy’s. Go ahead, try. You can’t do it. That’s the best live action footage used in the history of this show, and it exemplifies why SpongeBob is more than just a cartoon. It’s comedic gold, and a 21st century artistic achievement. If I could only choose one episode of this show to keep around, like in a time capsule or in a vault of famous TV episodes, it would be “Shanghaied”. Since there has been so many episodes in this long and historic show, it’s hard to choose ‘the best’, but I truly do think this is the one that beats them all. That Patchy the Pirate stuff is just too good.
This is the last time I get to do this, but YOUR GOOD YOUR GOOD YOUR GOOD: