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Video Game Code Names, Ranked

In honor of the Scorpio reveal, whenever that happens.

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In honor of the Scorpio reveal, whenever that happens.


We got a lame reveal of the specs for Scorpio, and no name, price, look, or any other actually important details. Which begs the question: is Scorpio the greatest code name in video game console history? Well, it’s time to do the internet’s favorite thing (no, not harassment), ranking things in lists!

My criteria: how cool the codename is to say out loud, how good the console ended up being, and if the code name was BETTER than the real name. And I threw in some stuff that’s not a console, like hardware peripherals and other important stuff that counts because the code name was rad, so deal with it losers. So let us get down to bickering about random nonsense that does not matter, aka the blueprint to get to the internet’s heart.


34. Citra — 3DS

33. Durango — Xbox One

32. Coleen — Atari 800

31. Project Natal — Kinect

30. Orbis — PlayStation 4

29. Mark V — Sega Genesis/Mega Drive

28. NGP (Next Generation Portable) — PlayStation Vita

27. Pam — Atari 5200

26. Jupiter — Sega Saturn

25. Arc — PlayStation Move

24. Mercury — Sega Game Gear

23. Nitro — Nintendo DS

22. Project Cafe — Wii U

21. Mars — Sega 32X

20. MARZ (Microsoft Active Reality Zone), VERV (Virtual Entertainment and Reality Venture), TAC (Total Action Center), TS0 (Three Six Zero), CPG (Cyber Playground), DirectX-box — Xbox

19. PS-X — PlayStation

18. Venus — Sega Nomad

17. Neo — PS4 Pro

16. Neptune — 32X/Mega Drive combo unit (unreleased, but still pretty dope for a planet codename)

15. Candy —Atari 400

14. Project Reality, Ultra 64 — Nintendo 64

13. Atlantis — Game Boy Advance

12. NX — Switch

11. Stella — Atari 2600

10. Oxygen — Game Boy Micro

9. White Belt, Katana, Guppy, Black Belt, Shark, Dural — Dreamcast

8. Dolphin — GameCube

7. Virtual Utopia Experience — Virtual Boy

6. Morpheus — PS VR

5. Scorpio — Xbox One X? Or whatever they end up calling it, doesn’t really matter, Scorpio is a great code name by itself

4. Dot Matrix Game — Game Boy

3. Xenon — Xbox 360

2. B52 Rock Lobster — Commodore Amiga 500 (I do not care if this is cheating because this is the best of the PC ones, so deal with it)

Revolution — Wii


BONUS MATCH

Microsoft versus Apple, who has the better code names? Below is a non-comprehensive list of the various operating system and program code names, everything Windows and Mac and Apple and MS. Who has the edge? Let’s run it down:

  • Janus — Windows 3.1
  • Snowball — Windows for Workgroups 3.11
  • Chicago — Windows 95
  • Nashville — Windows 96
  • O’Hare — First version of Internet Explorer
  • Memphis, Detroit — Windows 98
  • Daytona — Windows NT 3.5
  • Cairo, Hydra— Windows NT 4.0
  • Neptune, Odyssey — Windows 2000 Home Edition
  • Whistler — Windows XP
  • Canary, Galileo, Gryphon, Hermes, Jupiter, Mira, Macallan, Mercury, Merlin, Orion, Pegasus, Rapier, Stinger, Venus, Wyvern— Windows CE for 2003 smart phones and pocket PCs and WebTV and some other stuff
  • Millennium — Windows ME
  • Longhorn — Windows Vista
  • Lonestar — Windows XP Tablet PC 2005
  • Aurora — Windows Small Business Server 2011 Essentials
  • Vienna, Blackcomb — Windows 7
  • Mango — Windows Phone 7
  • Blue — Windows 8.1
  • Apollo — Windows Phone 8
  • Corona — Windows Media Player 9
  • Brimstone — Adobe Photoshop 2.5 for Windows
  • Snowball — Windows for Workgroups 3.11
  • Threshold — Windows 10
  • Redstone — Windows 10.1

versus

  • Kodiak — MacOS
  • Brooklyn — Apple ][x
  • Cocoa — Apple Mac OS X API
  • Moses — Apple Mac OS X Server-based
  • Blue Box , Darwin— Mac OS layers
  • Harmony — Mac OS 7.6
  • Tempo — Mac OS 8.0
  • Bride of Buster — Mac OS 8.1
  • Allegro — Mac OS 8.5
  • Star Trek — Mac OS for x86
  • Sonata, Gershwin — Mac OS 9
  • Fortissimo — Mac OS 9.1
  • Moonlight — Mac OS 9.2
  • Cheetah — Mac OS X 10.0
  • Puma — Mac OS X 10.1
  • Jaguar — Mac OS X 10.2
  • Panther — Mac OS X 10.3
  • Tiger — Mac OS X 10.4
  • Leopard — Mac OS X 10.5
  • Snow Leopard — Mac OS X 10.6

WINNER: MICROSOFT for being more original and taking risks and not doing fucking cats every year, that shit gets confusing and is lazy.

Games

Nintendo Switch Sales Have Reached A New Milestone, But Just How Successful Is The Console So Far?

Compared to Nintendo’s last console, at the very least, the answer is…very.

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At this point in time, I have yet to purchase a Nintendo Switch…but, to be honest, I kind of want to. I’m having some major FOMO with Nintendo’s newest console, especially considering the rapturous response that both Super Mario Odyssey and The Legend of Zelda: The Breath of the Wild received in the past year. I just feel incomplete as a gamer by not playing both games, what with Game of the Year Awards coming around, and both games seemingly taking every prize. There’s no other way to say it — not having a Nintendo Switch makes me feel like I am missing out on a big part of video games…which is the first time I can say that about something released by Nintendo in quite a while. And looking at these newly released Nintendo Switch sales numbers, I am far from the only one who probably has that opinion.

As revealed by Nintendo themselves, the Switch recently pushed over ten million total units in worldwide sales. That number was likely achieved through very strong Black Friday sales, which I can personally bear witness to — during my Black Friday shopping, I witnessed a whole lot of carts with Nintendo Switches (Switchii?) in them, with giant displays set up simply to supply for what seemed to be a heavy demand for the handheld/console combo. But even putting Black Friday aside, the Nintendo Switch has sold pretty well since its release in March…though it’s important to contextualize those numbers just a little bit.

Passing ten million units sold in 10 months is pretty good, but it’s not quite a record-breaking number or anything. In fact, the Nintendo Switch is only slightly ahead of where Microsoft was in sales of its Xbox One after a year of release, and those numbers were widely seen as a disappointment at the time. And both were outpaced by the initial sales of the Playstation 4, which passed the 10 million mark nine months into its release.

Still though, a lot of the conclusions made by the number crunching can mostly be viewed through the prism of expectation: the Playstation 4 was seen as a huge seller not just because it sold a bunch, but because it outpaced its predecessor by a substantial amount (don’t forget that, in the final days of the Playstation 3, it was dead last in terms of sales.) The Xbox One, comparatively, was seen as a sales disappointment, even though it still pushed an impressive amount of consoles…just not as many as the powerhouse that was the Xbox 360 did. And, returning to the Nintendo Switch, ANYTHING would have looked amazing to Nintendo coming off the complete failure of the Wii U, which only sold a staggeringly poor 13.5 million units TOTAL by the time it was discontinued in 2016. So the narrative becomes thus: the Playstation 4 is a massive success, the Nintendo Switch is a noteworthy success, and the Xbox One is a disappointing failure.

The reality? All of them are doing pretty damn good, really. Between the three none are really failures, and as consoles evolve to be more “iteration” based (with the likes of the Playstation 4 Pro and Xbox One X mudding up the works), the competition between them is probably going to became far less noteworthy as things go on. But, still, all three systems are healthy sellers which, for the sake of the industry, is probably for the best. After all, a little competition never killed anyone, right?

 


Also published on Medium.

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Games

Level Design Hall of Fame – Super Mario World

In this newest installment, Jared raises up Mario and crushes Sonic. Just…crushes him completely.

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If you are so inclined, the link for my channel (where you can find other videos in the series) is here. And you can follow me on Twitter here.

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Games

Level Design Hall of Fame: Fort Frolic

Where the best and brightest celebrate success!

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So I made this video a while after Mark Brown did his Game Maker’s Toolkit on Bioshock, and it must have been the same feeling when Telsa found out Edison got all the credit. Not that I came up with the idea first, or did it better, but it just showed how far off from perfection I really am. So I waited months to even bother posting it here, defeated, so just go watch his video — it is WAY better. I tried to be more personal in my analysis but honestly, it’s not quite the same as having a suave British accent. It’s just not.

If you are so inclined, the link for my channel (where you can find other videos in the series) is here. And you can follow me on Twitter here.

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