I’m not going to waste much time here, since I have a lot of film to talk about, but let me just say something about 2017: it was absolutely god-damn ridiculous. No joke, this might be one of the best years for movies I’ve ever lived through or, at the very least, seen since I started writing about the medium on the internet. The amount of absolutely great (many all-time great) movies released in the last 12 months verged on the insane, and made the formation of such a Top 10 list seem like such a foolish endeavor. I could have had a Top 30 list and still not had enough room to fit everything I loved. That’s how good this year was.
But, hey, I love needless list-making, and I’m a stickler for set rules. Plus I’m lazy, and don’t really want to put the work into writing blurbs for 30 films (though I might publish a separate list of honorable mentions in the coming days — we shall see.) So, instead, I had to go about the painstaking process of whittling down my list to only 10 movies, the cream of the cream of the cream of the crop’s cream, as it were. And by initiating the doctrine of “No Givesies Backsies,” these 10 choices will now remain set in stone. Without further ado, here is my finalized list of the Top 10 films of 2017.
10. The Florida Project
Logic would dictate that the hardest position to decide on a Top 10 list would be the #1 spot…but in my near-decade of writing these lists, I’ve never found that to be the case. No, the hardest one for me has always been the number 10 spot — and that’s never been truer than in my Top 10 movies of 2017 list. There’s literally a dozen (if not more!) films all fighting for inclusion on the list, and the number 10 spot serves as the big gateway to it. For that reason, I think I’ve changed my number 10 pick every week for the past two months. There’s just too many good films.
But, ultimately? I went with Sean Baker’s The Florida Project, a beautiful and devastating drama about life on the poorest end of the poor. A premise like that would seem to lead itself to mawkishness, but it speaks to Baker’s skill as a filmmaker that everything in The Florida Project felt true-to-life, and achingly real in a way that lends itself to the stunning filmmaking at play. The acting from the two unknowns is absolutely unbelievable (especially young Brooklynn Prince in a star-making turn), and Willem Dafoe brings to life one of my favorite film characters in recent years. The Florida Project is a film that destroyed me emotionally, but only in ways that a powerful drama can. And, on that note, the ending is very good and fits the film well — I don’t care what any of you say!
9. War for the Planet of the Apes
Guys. Just…guys. This new Planet of the Apes trilogy is crazy. Never in a million years did I expect a rebooted Planet of the Apes to end my favorite trilogy of the 21st Century so far — but I think it just might be it. Really, the whole thing is a marvel — how director Matt Reeves managed to steer this thing into a deeply powerful, action-packed, wholly cinematic sci-fi masterpiece is beyond me. But with his one-two punch of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and War for the Planet of the Apes, I completely believe he has. And even though the latter film isn’t quite up to the level of greatness that Dawn was, it’s still bloody great and, more than anything, more ambitious than I ever thought possible. I still can’t believe that Fox gave money to Matt Reeves to make his weird-ass quasi-western mood poem starring Andy Serkis pretending to be a primate. It’s unbelievable that this movie exists, and more unbelievable that it absolutely worked. War for the Planet of the Apes was as fitting an end to this trilogy as I could possibly imagine, and very much cements its status as a blockbuster series we’ll be talking about for decades to come. Plus, Bad Ape. Gotta love that Bad Ape.
8. John Wick: Chapter 2
A good action movie is surprisingly hard to come by these days, what with the world of blockbusters eating up the genre and spitting it back up torn to pieces. The 80’s this is not, and to find a straight-laced, balls-to-the-wall action movie that doesn’t involve someone with superhero powers or magical abilities is, well, quite the challenging task. Except for in February 2017, in which a man by the name of John Wick came to remind us all how invigorating the genre can be. Encapsulating everything a good action movie should be (and a good sequel, for that matter), John Wick’s second turn-at-bat outdid the first in every way. More explosive, dynamic action. A faster-paced plot that never slowed down for even a second. And even more of the batty, silly, but ultimately commendable world-building that makes this entire franchise so unique, even amongst other action movies. John Wick: Chapter 2 is a high water mark for the genre I haven’t seen since the likes of The Raid, and with a more engrossing story to boot. If the original John Wick was the birth of a new action franchise, then John Wick: Chapter 2 served as proof that he was very much here to stay. Bring on John Wick: Chapter 3 — 2019 can’t come fast enough.
7. The Shape of Water
I like Guillermo del Toro a lot, and find most of his movies to be very good (except Hellboy II, which was very fucking great), but he’s not a director that often inspires much passion for me. I can certainly recognize his talents, and appreciate his love of the medium, but even his best stuff (Pan’s Labyrinth, probably) often fails to get an emotional rise out of me. But that very much changes with The Shape of Water, his monster movie love story that is 100% perfect, unfiltered Del Toro. And I pretty much loved it completely. A mesmerizing, magical experience, The Shape of Water is a delight from start to finish. Featuring a whole cast giving fantastic performances (special shout-out to Richard Jenkins, proving how essential he is to any movie he becomes a part of) and boasting some amazing effects (you can always count on Del Toro for that, at least), The Shape of Water has a lot going for it. But like all wonderful movies, it’s how everything coalesces that makes the movie so damn great. And very few movies coalesce as well as The Shape of Water does. It’s my favorite of Del Toro’s work, and a high watermark for his career so far (just let me have that pun, okay? I’m very proud of myself for it.)
6. Your Name
If you want to get technical about it, Your Name is actually a 2016 release, with its initial blockbuster launch occurring all over the world then, including theaters in Los Angeles and New York (for last year’s Oscar qualifications, naturally.) Usually, I’m a stickler for such rules when it comes to making my list…but you know what? Fuck it, Your Name is so fantastic I’m throwing my rules to the side this time around. Regardless of if it is a 2016 or 2017 release, Your Name is a treasure. Funny, exciting, heartwarming, thought-provoking, and absolutely beautiful — Your Name manages to be all these things without even breaking a sweat. And considering how much plot the film ultimately goes through, that’s pretty much a marvel. Your Name is like if Charlie Kaufman decided he wanted to make an anime and, trust me, that’s quite the high compliment. The whole world fell in love with this movie (its made hundreds of millions of dollars, after all), but of course silly Americans and their aversion to Japanese animation failed to pay it much attention. But, hey, their lost. Your Name is a new anime classic, and absolutely should not be missed.
5. The Big Sick
I see a lot of great movies in any given year, but very few of them are so great that they leave me seething with jealousy. A happy seething, mind you (a gleething?), but still just pure, uncut jealousy. Because the only thing I could think about after watching The Big Sick was how Kumali Nanjiani, Emily Gordon, and Michael Showalter just made the perfect modern romantic comedy, and exactly the type of movie I could only dream of making. It’s rare for a filmmaker to so heavily tap into what drives me as a creative, but The Big Sick managed to do that…in addition to being gut-bustingly funny and emotionally satisfying to boot. The Big Sick really has it all, and I can only hope that its success will lead to more films like it down the line. It’s the best Judd Apatow-ian film in years, and that’s including like a decade of the directors own work. And, please, Hollywood — don’t skip on making Kumali Nanjiani a star. After he solidified his talents with this film, the ball is very much in the industry’s court.
4. Lady Bird
A lot of what I wrote above can also be applied to Lady Bird — if not slightly more so, what with the film scoring a rank higher on the list. Lady Bird made me laugh, it made me emotional, it made me awestruck, and most importantly in the film’s favor, it made me reflect on my own life in a way that only a deeply personal, impactful film can. The magic of Lady Bird isn’t in its fabulous performances (though, wow, everyone in that cast) or in its fantastic script (though, wow, Greta Gerwig) or in its great direction (what the fuck were you thinking with that snub shit, Golden Globes?), but in how it manages to impact every single person who sees it. Like every good coming-of-age film, there’s a mix of relatability and nostalgia at play that can elevate the genre at the best of times. I am not a teenage girl from Sacramento who attended a Catholic high school, nor have I ever been one (pretty sure.) But I didn’t have to be in order to find Lady Bird’s story to be achingly, awkwardly, beautifully real. In many ways, I was Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson. Hell, weren’t we all at one point? Many films fail to connect with their viewer in such a powerful way, but Lady Bird does it with ease. And, for that, is one of the best coming-of-age stories ever told.
3. Baby Driver
I am tempted to just insert the “Hocus Focus” foot chase as proof to why Baby Driver is my number 3 film of 2017, but even that I feel wouldn’t do the film enough justice. On my birthday this year, I got the best gift imaginable — Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver, a pop-rock action-opera that is unlike anything else I have ever seen in my life, and makes for some of the most magical 113 minutes of film I’ve seen all year. It’s a film that Wright has been working towards his entire career, and encapsulates everything about him that makes him one of the best filmmakers around: the energy, the humor, the creativity, the insane editing — this is all Edgar Wright at his absolute best. I could watch Baby Driver at pretty much any time in my life, and have a complete and utter blast with it the whole way through. Very few films can do that, but having watched the entire thing over half a dozen times at this point, I’m pretty confident that Baby Driver makes the list. Also, seriously though…that “Hocus Pocus” chase.
The fact there’s also, like, a dozen other moments just as amazing just speaks to how wonderful this little action musical is. Thank god for Edgar Wright. The world of film would be a far less fun place without him.
2. Blade Runner 2049
Trust me, I’m surprised to see Blade Runner 2049 this high on my list as you are. Even after coming out of my first viewing of the film and being extremely high on it, I didn’t think it would be able to get this far up on my overall list for the year. But the more I come away from Blade Runner 2049, the more I love it even more. We simply don’t get this kind of huge, thoughtful, beautiful science fiction that often, especially in this day-and-age. I mean, just look at the film’s box office, and you’ll very much see why. But while it’s disappointing to see Blade Runner 2049 fail to find a huge audience, that’s literally the only disappointing thing about it. Literally every other single factor in Blade Runner 2049 is A+ work. The direction, the cinematography, the production design, the acting, the writing, the action, the special effects — seriously, damn near everything. On top of all that, the film has something very interesting to say about the nature of artificial intelligence, and has the time to also provide a useful and throught-provoking twist on the standard hero’s journey. Blade Runner 2049 is everything I could want from a piece of science fiction, and that’s something coming from a guy who doesn’t even love the original. Everyone always says that Blade Runner is a masterpiece, and I’m just left kind of shrugging my shoulders at the concept. But if they say that Blade Runner 2049 is a masterpiece? I would high-five them effusively, because they are 100% goddamn right.
But, alas, there were TWO masterpieces of film released in 2017…both of which, coincidentally, were co-written by Michael Green (that dude is my MVP of the year, that’s for sure.) But as much as I loved Blade Runner 2049, no film in 2017 had a larger impact on me than James Mangold’s Logan. Which, like Blade Runner 2049, surprised the hell out of me. I liked Mangold’s previous The Wolverine a lot, and thought Logan had a lot of promise in the first trailers, but damn — I never expected to fall head-over-heels in love with the film as I have. It’s the kind of movie that I watch pretty much awe-struck the entire time, absolutely captivated by what is unfolding on the screen in front of me, and mesmerized by how pitch-perfect it all is. The final journey of the X-Men’s flagship character does not deserve to be this incredible, or this unique, or this as emotionally devastating. I was not prepared for how gob-smackingly great Logan would be when I saw it the first time and, after it was done, I just sat in my seat in silence as I took it all in. It was my favorite movie of the year at that point, but of course it was only March — I figured that would change as the weeks went on.
It never did. While my list adjusted wildly on a day-to-day basis (hell, I’ve even made a few switcheroos while writing it right now), Logan never shifted from the top spot of it. Just to make sure I wasn’t inflating my opinion of the film, I rewatched it again (purchasing the $30 Best Buy steelbook version of the Blu-Ray, a rare home video splurge for me that I don’t regret in the slightest.) And I loved it just as much, if not more, the second time. This is everything I love about superhero movies, and apocalyptic stories, and just damn good character dramas. The action is incredible, the writing is incredible, the performances are incredible (goddamn you Academy for ignoring Patrick Stewart’s heartbreaking performance as the dementia-riddled Professor X), and the central relationship at the core of the film is so powerful and true that the final few minutes leaft me a destroyed, emotionally abused mess…in the best way possible, of course. Few pieces of pop culture have left an impact on me as strongly as the ending of Logan did. But it took two hours of other perfect storytelling to get me there, and that alone makes Logan a masterpiece of the superhero genre — and my favorite film of 2017.
But, once again, it was a stacked year, so the competition was fierce for the title. But going into 2018, I can only hope for half as many great films as we got in the past twelve months. Like 2017, we’re going to need it if we hope to make it through another goddamn year of Donald Fucking Trump. Here’s to entertainment in 2018 — may you coddle us all up in a blanket of sweet, sweet comfort for as long as humanly possible.
Also published on Medium.
Avengers: Infinity War Crushed My Dreams in the Dumbest Way, and I’m Okay with it
We might never see Secret Wars properly adapted to the big screen, and I am at peace with that now.
Spoilers ahead, so be forewarned. Although at this point it’s impossible for this article to spoil what could possibly be the biggest blockbuster of all time, on a website nobody reads, but consider yourself warned. And a loser, let’s be real here.
So first and foremost: I very much liked this movie, and so did most of you, from what the box office tells us. I very much look forward to seeing it again to crystallize my real thoughts on it, because time ends up being the best critic of them all. It’s too soon for the test of time to enlighten us on where this thing ranks amongst the pantheon, but most of what has been said and written about is true; it’s a landmark, a milestone, impressively crafted and a miracle to watch. The ending has emotional stakes (though not real ones), and it really leaves an imprint. And yet…
The link above is a terrific examination about what I’m talking about, but I’m only really here to somewhat facetiously let you into my head beat by beat as the characters we love turned to ash and floated away. Mouth agape, I thought “they can’t be seriously doing this”. And most of you did the exact same thing! But I was referring to something else entirely, and as the screen cut to black, and Thanos’ big dumb expression still lingering fresh in our minds, my fellow audience members and space travelers all collectively gasped. Everyone did it for reasons that seem normal, “oh no our favorite heroes are dead and we have to wait a whole year to find out what happens!”. Except me, because I have a one track mind and was somewhere else entirely (and I’m not going to get suckered into believing anything that happened in that film actually has any consequence whatsoever, in terms of plot or story or the ability for Disney to make money and sign actors to long-term contracts).
No, I gasped because I actually thought Kevin Feige had the balls to go where I didn’t think they would ever go, and I yelled out in the crowded theater, in the pitch black surrounded by strangers, at the screen with credits rolling slowly:
IF THIS END STINGER DOESN’T TEASE SECRET WARS THEN THERE IS NO POINT IN HAVING A SEQUEL, BECAUSE IT WILL RENDER OUR MOURNING OBSOLETE AND MEANINGLESS.
I didn’t actually yell that, I said it quietly to the brunette in the college sweater next to me who I was trying to hit on before the movie started. There was a seven foot tall teenager in a business suit sitting in front of me, blocking the lower left quarter of the screen, and he turned around at the same time as his mother, who loved him very much and was proud of her son in that suit I tell ya, and they asked “what is Secret Wars? Is that the title of the next Avengers movie after this?” And I replied:
IF THEY DON’T SHOW BATTLEWORLD AFTER THESE CREDITS THEN ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS DEATHS ARE FOR NOTHING BUT THE SHEER AND BLATANT ATTEMPT TO SEEM EDGY AND BOLD AND DARING, BUT IN REALITY WE WILL ALL GET OVER IT IN TWO WEEKS WHEN THEY ANNOUNCE THE NEXT SLATE OF FILMS IN PHASE FOUR.
I didn’t actually say that either, but in the final moments of Infinity War I kept expecting the disintegrating bodies to reveal the truth: they weren’t dead, just going somewhere else, potentially the mirror dimension, or another parallel universe, or a representation of hell inside the Soul Stone. And then I realized that the only other gigantic crossover storyline not used so far in these movies is Secret Wars, which would have been the most amazing and ideal way to segue into next year’s Avengers 4: Secret Wars. Imagine, the most famous comic book story for Marvel (also seen on the 90’s Spider-Man cartoon) redone on the big screen: the possibilities endless, the potential for blowing minds unfathomable for fans.
But alas, no, they did not go there, and instead left the cliffhanger to just sit with us. In the dark, no answers, like a gut punch from the screen to our seats. I’m not going to explain why Secret Wars is worth doing, or what it’s about — the cover below says everything you need to know, really. Just look it up online after this, or read the original run, or the newer ones. It’s unreal they didn’t go for this, they had the chance and they blew it!
I like the ending in a vacuum, on paper, but we don’t live in a vacuum anymore. We live on the internet, where every production has leaked set photos and breakdowns, every project in development has casting choices ruined and surprises sold off to the highest bidder. The next five years are set in stone, the signatures already in ink, and it only lasted five minutes before I realized the head fake ending would have been better off being done without the obvious sign that A) the original team of old heroes and actors who should have died and said they’re about done all lived B) all the new characters and actors that are the backbone of Marvel’s future all died C) they already shot the untitled sequel so it’s not like they did that whole movie / marketing without Spider-Man and Black Panther and D) I’m going to end this run-on sentence being mad they didn’t finish the FOX merger fast enough to do Secret Wars.
Secret Wars, the only way to naturally introduce a space alien getting stuck to Peter Parker’s suit so the symbiote travels back to earth to battle Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock. Secret Wars, the only way to seamlessly transition the X-Men and Fantastic Four into the MCU, by forcing them to battle on Battleworld for the enjoyment of the masses. But no, they didn’t show those characters on a new planet. They didn’t bring in Ant-Man and the Wasp and the original Wasp (Michelle Pheiffer) through the subatomic quantum realm. They didn’t hint at the Beyonder, or She-Hulk, or Spider-Woman, or Titania, or Absorbing Man, or Kang the Conqueror, or Molecule Man, or Silver Surfer, or Volcana, or the Wrecking Crew, or Galactus! They didn’t bring back older villains sans Red Skull (good job on that one, actually) to fight and die again against different heroes (how hard is it to just show Ultron fighting without him talking?).
Oh well. I’m not actually that upset, and the odds of that were low enough I’m not shocked. I just really thought they were going in that direction, and now they are not, and that makes me sad. A man can dream, though. Infinity War was pretty good all things considered, even if the stakes they focused on are really just not doable anymore, in this culture of capitalism and engineering fandom into capitalist milk udders. Just milking us nerds dry, with no regard for anything but the almighty dollar. What can you do about it, honestly? At least my favorite characters aren’t being handled by Warner Bros.
Tune in next time when I write an article about how Thanos was just stealing all of his ideas and motivations off of Bill Maher, thanks for reading true believers. Excelsior!
It Took The Entire Kitchen Sink, But Marvel Has Reclaimed The Highest Grossing Opening Weekend of All Time Record
The combined might of the Avengers, Black Panther, Spider-Man, and the Guardians of the Galaxy was the only thing that could take down a galaxy far, far away.
Going into Summer 2018, there was no question whatsoever whether or not Avengers: Infinity War would end up being a success. There’s a reason we all chose it as the de facto box office champ in our Summer Movie Wager, after all — there was no chance in hell this movie wasn’t going to make money. In fact, the only question we were all asking about Infinity War’s box office was just how well it would do — were we just talking pretty massive, or record-breaking massive? We’re only one weekend into the film’s release, but the answer has already presented itself as the latter, with the film already breaking one of the most important box office records out there: the highest grossing opening weekend of all time record.
Which, as you might recall, used to belong to Marvel not too long ago. The studio first earned the laudable accomplishment back when The Avengers came out in 2012, snagging an (at the time) insane opening weekend of $207 million. The team-up film was able to hold onto that record for years, with even its sequel, Avengers: Age of Ultron, unable to topple the number. But in June of 2015, a challenger appeared from out of nowhere — long-in-development reboot/sequel, Jurassic World. Apparently, demand for dino action was at a high with audiences, as the film managed to barely take the record away from Avengers with an opening total of $208 million. Jurassic World wasn’t able to hold on to that record for long, though, as a little movie called Star Wars: The Force Awakens came out mere six months later to take the crown — and by a huge margin too (over $39 million, in fact.) For a long time, it was unclear what if any big movie could ever top such an insane number.
But leave it to the crossover film to end all crossover films to do such a thing. Even with estimates putting it just slightly beneath The Force Awaken’s opening (between $225 to $245 million were the predicted numbers), the film managed to outpace its expectations by a significant degree. Taking in a total of $257 million in its first three days of release (well, four if you count Thursday previews as a separate day…which Hollywood for some reason doesn’t), Infinity War indeed has a gross to match its scale. And things look even better when you factor in its worldwide launch — at a total of $640 million, it easily became the highest grossing global opening of all-time, surpassing previous record holder Fate of the Furious (yes, really.) That’s even more impressive when you consider that the film didn’t have a China opening, as it won’t be bowing in the Middle Kingdom until May 11. Then again, China seems to be the only place that DIDN’T get the film this weekend, what with Disney’s decision a few months back to push the film up in many major markets.
Either way, Disney certainly won out no matter how you slice it. As I wrote about back at the beginning of the month: the Mouse House has been working overtime to sell Infinity War as the event film to end all event films. And the gigantic opening weekend take, both domestically and globally, certainly proves their work paid off.
The only question now, really, is whether or not the film will prove to have legs. On that, I’m rather torn. While there’s a part of me that believes the film isn’t as crowdpleasing as Avengers, Force Awakens, or even Jurassic World, I certainly know that my first instinct after seeing the film was the desire to see it again. Is that the case for many others? Time will tell, but if it wants to beat current MCU champ Black Panther, it will have to play the long haul, not just the opening sprint. Case in point: Black Panther is still in the Top 5 this weekend, even with Infinity War coming out. Either way, Disney is facing a competition amongst themselves, no matter how you slice it. I doubt they (or Marvel for that matter) have much to complain about no matter which film ends up on top.
Also published on Medium.
In Which I Rank All The Current MCU Movies, As Internet Law Demands All Movie Bloggers Must Do
Kevin Feige has marked me for list-making, and now the internet must feast on my hot takes and controversial rankings.
For the most part, blogging about movies is a ton of fun. Vomiting your opinion all over the internet is of course a millennials favorite pastime, and when I get to do it in honor of a medium I love as much as film, even more so. However, the gig does have its drawbacks — mainly in the form of a disheveled, hungry Kevin Feige coming to my home in the middle of the night and demanding a ritual sacrifice of Marvel movie rankings come next Avengers Eve.
Yes, I’ve heard rumblings for years that Kevin Feige installs a curse on all movie bloggers to write detailed, thousand words essays on the various films that make up the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And, sure, I’ve heard rumblings of the cruel, perverse punishment that’s instilled upon those who don’t present their work to the internet in time to tie into the release of Avengers: Infinity War (a 24 hour, back-to-back marathon of Inhumans AND Iron Fist…in 4DX! *shiver*) And, to be fair, when I registered this domain, I read the terms and conditions, which specifically pointed out I was obligated to present my thoughts on how The Incredible Hulk and Thor: The Dark World compare to each other to, like, no one in particular at some point in the near future. I knew what I was getting myself into by creating this blog, but that still didn’t prepare me for the horrifying image of a withering Feige pressing his palm to my face, whispering “RANKER!,” and scurrying off into the night.
Regardless, the mark of the beast is now upon me, and it is my obligation to feed him in the only way I can — meaningless organization and endless bloviating. Those are my two true superpowers, and like a certain Marvel character said, with great power comes…well, he never said it in the MCU, so who the hell can remember anyways?
Without further ado, let’s get this show on the road. Here are all 18 current MCU movies, ranked.
18. The Incredible Hulk
Of all the MCU films so far, The Incredible Hulk is the only one I would say has aged poorly. At the time, I rather enjoyed the reboot (and felt it an improvement over Ang Lee’s disastrous Hulk), but upon re-watching it earlier this year…oh boy. Not only does it now feel out of place within the rest of the universe (Edward Norton as Bruce Banner makes the whole thing feel very much “out of canon,”), but it also feels stunningly old-fashioned. While conceptualizing the Hulk story as a Bourne-esque chase thriller was a novel concept in 2008…it’s mostly just dreadfully boring now. There’s some fun to be had in the smash em’ up action of the climactic scene, but even that feels rather retro in a cinematic world that includes The Battle of New York and Sokovia. There’s simply nothing fresh or, hell, even interesting about The Incredible Hulk, which has only become even more apparent in the decade since its release.
17. Iron Man 2
For years, I thought Iron Man 2 was the nadir of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But in my MCU rewatch, I realize it was not…but only because The Incredible Hulk aged worse, not because Iron Man 2 aged better. No, Tony’s Starks second adventure is as messy and unfocused as I remember it being, a cacophony of chaos that, ultimately, leads to not much of anything. It routinely whiffs on every single plot development it comes across, and not even Robert Downey Jr.’s aggressive charm can make something like the mindless, ugly climax any more interesting. Years ago, I thought my lack of passion for Iron Man 2 was because it tried to squeeze in to much Avengers set-up (like the completely boring version of Black Widow that shows up for no goddamn reason.) But now that we’re 18 films into this series…nah. Even on its own merits, the film just isn’t very good.
Ant-Man is…fine. Paul Rudd gives it his all in the central role, and some of the shrinking mechanics leads to inspiring places. But the heist movie concept never really pans out conceptually, with the superhero movie failing to ever feel like anything else but, well, a superhero movie…and a rather bland one at that. And yes, I will never not be able to think about what Edgar Wright could have done with his version of the film every damn time I think about it. Unfair, maybe. But if the film itself was more interesting, I like to imagine it wouldn’t even be an issue to begin with.
Luis is cool, though.
15. Thor: The Dark World
Thor: The Dark World isn’t as bad as everyone says it is. But that is mostly due to the fact that everyone thinks its REALLY bad. In my mind though, the film is just pretty mediocre. I like how it expanded the scope of the Thor universe, and I think the ending action sequence is a lot of fun, but the worst villain in the MCU really kills the momentum of the film dead. That being said, there’s a lot of great Thor/Loki work here, and I do appreciate the film on that front. But after the release of last Thor movie, let’s just say this one suffers by comparison.
Yes, the first two Thor movies are really close in my mind, and I think the original is only a smidge better than The Dark World at the end of the day. While the sequel improved on the action and scope front, the original far better handles the dramatic moments, most likely due to director Kenneth Brannaugh’s experience behind the camera. While the Shakespearean tone ultimately proved to be too limiting for the character and his world in the long run, as a way of establishing his origin and setting up the tragedy of his and Loki’s relationship? It does the trick quite well. Too bad the superhero stuff surrounding it is rather weak. Even as a New Mexican who craves every ounce of acknowledgment possible, I can’t quite figure out where the decision to throw the Asgardian god of freaking thunder in Nowheresberg, New Mexico came from.
13. Doctor Strange
Doctor Strange has some really neat visuals. And, as always, I applaud Marvel on its casting of Benedict Cumberbatch as the central hero (they really know how to cast their iconic characters, don’t they?) But, man, as an origin story, this one might fall more flat than any of the other ones in the entirety of the MCU. Stephen Strange’s journey to becoming the Sorcerer Supreme is both unoriginal AND poorly defined, with a lack of real growth plaguing the character’s transformation at every turn. There’s a lot of cool abilities and skills that Doctor Strange has in his arsenal, and seeing him learn how to harness such abilities would be really fun…if the film gave a crap about that at all. Instead, Doctor Strange seems determined to plow through the character’s origins as quickly as possible, taking the titular character from asshole doctor to THE BEST SORCERER OF ALL TIME in the span of one shaving sequence (if any film is in need of a training montage, it’s this one.) On the one hand, it makes a lot of sense — all the best things in Doctor Strange (namely the inventive action sequences) come AFTER the characters training is concluded, and the movie begins in kind. But because the film failed to lay the foundation for the transformation in its first half, none of it feels as riveting as it should. The arc is simple here (too simple, if we’re being entirely honest): Strange is arrogant at the beginning, and through the course of the film, he becomes humble. Except the film fails to really show its work time and time again, primarily because it wants to squeeze in another cool action scene into the mix. But, man…are those action scenes really damn cool.
12. Iron Man
I like Iron Man! It’s really fun and, re-watching it now, you really do have to commend it on how well it sets up exactly what a Marvel movie is, and what can be done with the universe and its characters. But like all good starting points, it also allowed plenty of room for its follow-ups to grow and become even better. I don’t have any substantial problems with Iron Man, but it’s really a testament to Marvel Studios talent that this film is barely the tip of the iceberg for how great the franchise can be. But, boy, what a fun tip!
11. Iron Man 3
Now, Iron Man 3? Iron Man 3 is dope as hell, and I just want all of you naysayers out there to know how wrong you are, with your naysaying. Sure, the bad guy is a bit weak and some of the plot gets a bit muddy towards the end…but it’s Shane Black directing a Marvel movie. And that’s as positively delightful as I would expect it to be. It’s the best Iron Man movie, hands down.
Also, Trevor Slattery is a Top 5 MCU character. Nothing you can possibly say will convince me otherwise.
10. Spider-Man: Homecoming
I’ve written tons about how much I love Spider-Man as a character, but very little about what I thought about his latest movie outing. To simplify the shit out of it: I thought it was pretty great! Tom Holland is perfect, the film’s version of Peter Parker is perfect, and a lot of what it does with the concept of Spider-Man brings out everything I love about the character. It also features probably my favorite MCU villain in Michael Keaton’s Vulture character — he’s just the right amount of sympathetic and relatable, while reliably nasty and menacing when he needs to be. And the second act twist involving his character is one of the best ones I’ve seen in a blockbuster film in a LONG time (that car scene, my god.)
Honestly, the film would be a lot further down the list if it wasn’t for one element: the action sequences, which were shockingly kind of lame and unexciting. The dynamism and energy of Spider-Man lends himself to amazing set pieces (the train one from Spider-Man 2 is still unmatched in superhero cinema in my eyes), but Spider-Man: Homecoming fails to utilize his skillset to any memorable degree. I mean, the film doesn’t even have any web swinging sequences! I get it was purposely trying to stay focused on the “friendly neighborhood” angle, but having a movie where Spider-Man doesn’t swing across skyscrapers is like having a Superman movie without flying, or a Batman movie without the Batmobile…it’s just unforgivable. I can only hope that the film’s forthcoming sequel will rectify the mistake. The humor and heart of the character is there in spades, though. Throw a little “wow” factor on top, and we can end up with the perfect Spider-Man movie. Next to Spider-Man 2, of course.
9. Avengers: Age of Ultron
Look, I just wrote a fucking treatise on Spider-Man: Homecoming there, so I don’t want to spend a lot of time with Avengers: Age of Ultron. Just know I probably like it a lot more than you do, think the final action sequence is some of Marvel’s best material, and will really miss what Joss Whedon brought to this corner of the franchise. Also, Hawkeye is the MVP of the movie. Hell, the MVP of The Avengers overall, really. Don’t @ me.
8. Guardians of the Galaxy
The Chris Pratt, talking raccoon, anthropomorphic tree movie is so damn good, you guys. And I love the MCU for letting me write that sentence. Much has been said about how miraculously good the Guardians franchise is considering just exactly what it is about, but that’s the charm of the whole thing, isn’t it? The fact James Gunn was able to take this and make it A) uproariously funny B) stylistically unique and C) surprisingly riveting is one of the 21st centuries best unexpected blockbuster stories. I think the first film suffers a bit by its origin nature (and its incredibly weak villain, which comes part and parcel with that element), but boy is Guardians of the Galaxy a hell of a lot of fun. And if that’s not a defining factor in what makes a strong Marvel movie, what the hell are we even doing here?
7. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
But — HOT TAKE — Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is even better. Getting the origin stuff out of the way proved to be a massive boon to the series, as its main story and characters were able to fly far higher without all the set-up baggage. The jokes come faster, the action is bigger, and the emotions hit harder — WAY harder, in fact. There was always a sneaky heart at the center of the first Guardians, but this one’s extend run time and thematic focus allows that heart to come front and center. While the brunt of Guardians of the Galaxy was spent just seeing a bunch of wacky misfits learn to work together, Vol. 2 has something to say about family and relationships and the way in which we chose to focus on the people in our life. It does that through low-brow dick jokes and pop-rock action set pieces, but also through moments of spectacular gravitas and heart. Vol. 2 builds up on what made the first Guardians great, and for that it stands as the superior movie in my mind.
6. Thor: Ragnarok
But as much as I really like the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, the space adventure comedy that really captured my heart is, surprisingly, Thor: Ragnarok. It’s the funniest movie of the MCU, while also serving as its most creative and skillfully created. Taika Waititi is one hell of a director, and in Thor: Ragnarok he finally imbues this sub-section of the MCU with the style and tone it always deserved. It’s the rare third superhero movie that actually works, and works so well that it retroactively made the ones before it worse…and made me regret that this couldn’t have been the tone of the trilogy to begin with. Mostly, I’m sad we didn’t get three movies of Korg. Please, Marvel: give us more Korg. #KorgDiesAndWeRiot
5. Black Panther
What more can be said about Black Panther in 2018 that hasn’t already been said? Undenaibly the cultural event of the year (maybe even more so than Infinity War), the best thing about Black Panther is that its completely deserving of all the hype. Ryan Coogler delivered yet another knockout with this one, and single-handledly upped the dramatic game of the MCU by creating one heck of a dramatic narrative for King T’Challa’s first standalone outing. How it combines Game of Thrones style intrigue with thought-provoking social commentary is a marvel (it’s my first time using that word in this context for the ENTIRETY of the list — give me a break!), and the story that unfolds is completely unique and riveting for the superhero genre. It might lack the strong humor of the other Marvel movies, and doesn’t have the best action set pieces of the MCU…but Black Panther honestly doesn’t need those elements. The story is good enough on its own to still shine amongst its superhero brethren.
4. Captain America: The First Avenger
As you might have noticed, most of the Phase 1 movies are towards the bottom of my rankings, something I didn’t even realize until I kicked off my MCU rewatch in the past few months. It’s not to say those movies are bad (honestly, I don’t think any of the Marvel Studios movies have sunken quite that low yet), but I do think that the MCU has developed and changed mostly for the better since the days of Thor and Iron Man. All that being said? Captain America: The First Avenger still rocks. It’s earnest as all hell and, even at the time, felt rather old-fashioned in its design. But you know what? That just made me love it either more. As you’ll see in the remainder of this list, Captain America is probably my favorite MCU character, and he couldn’t have asked for a more fulfilling start to his journey than this movie. It’s Marvel’s best origin story, and a movie that just fills me with such joy and optimism everytime I see it (even with the fantastically somber ending.) And at the end of the day, those feelings are what makes the entire concept of superheroes so great, aren’t they?
3. The Avengers
The Avengers is great, and everyone in the damn world knows it’s great. The film already has its place in the annals of modern film history, so I doubt anything I write here could do more to increase its status as a cultural milestone. Just know that the Battle of New York is purely perfect blockbuster filmmaking, and I could watch it on repeat forever. And, with luck, I can do just that come Avengers: Infinity War!
2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
I remember being filled with doubts about Captain America: The Winter Soldier when it was first announced. Despite my love of Captain America: The First Avenger, I was worried that a sequel to the film would could easily go the route of Iron Man 2. After all, without the setting and characters that made the first film such a winner, how could Winter Soldier succeed? Certainly not by having The Russo Brothers at the helm, two TV directors who seemed like the cheap, “work for hire” choices to bring the sequel to life. Obviously, Winter Soldier was doomed to be an inferior superhero sequel, right?
Nope — not even a little bit, in fact. Instead, Captain America: The Winter Soldier is kind of amazing, and The Russo Brothers turned out to be one hell of a movie directing pair. How The Winter Soldier takes the character of Cap and throws him into the modern age is inspired, and the whole Hydra storyline remains one of Marvel’s most captivating plot threads. The Winter Soldier makes for an absolutely spectacular little conspiracy spy thriller, and what it says about government surveillance and our inherent trust in institutions is relevant not just to the character of Captain America and what he represents, but our modern world in general. Throw on some of the best action sequences ever put to film (DAT ELEVATOR FIGHT), and you have the recipe for one of Marvel’s most ably crafted films. But not quite it’s best. As close as Winter Soldier gets to that status, it was bested by a hair just a few years later with…
1. Captain America: Civil War
If there’s any sort of running theme throughout the first ten years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it’s this — Marvel Studios is adept at taking things that absolutely should not work, and making them work in ways that you can’t possibly even imagine. Washed up movie star Robert Downey Jr. hunting down terrorists in a rocket suit (while making quips the entire time!) shouldn’t have worked. Throwing said character in a movie with four other huge characters (plus Black Widow and Hawkeye) and telling a strong story utilizing all of them shouldn’t have worked. The aforementioned Chris Pratt talking raccoon anthropomorphic tree movie (yes, I just wanted another excuse to type that phrase, humor me) shouldn’t have worked. The movie about the ant guy who hangs out with Michael Douglas shouldn’t have worked. And combining half a dozen main characters into the film of one main character, whilst making them fight, whilst also continuing the story of two other branches of a franchise DEFINITELY shouldn’t have worked.
But it did. And it did so spectacularly.
I’ve ranted and raved about Captain America: Civil War in the past two years of its release, and there was a small part of me that worried revisiting it now would curb my massive enthusiasm on the superhero epic. But…nope! I’m still as high as ever for this miracle of a movie. What the Russo Brothers created here is astounding: a superhero movie that not only serves as the perfect closing chapter of its main character’s trilogy, but also operates as the dramatic crescendo of the entire damn franchise. Civil War manages to pull on everything we know about the MCU and the characters who populate it, blowing it all up in exciting, often heartbreaking ways.
Much has been said about the grand airport battle at the center of Civil War, and of course I’m not going to disparage it much here (it truly is something to behold, even now.) But for me the real high of the film is its final action sequence, which pits Captain America, Winter Soldier, and Iron Man in a brutal, no holds barred three-way duel. It’s a hell of an action sequence, but also one that pulls on nearly a decades work of character building and relationship work. Marvel knows we love these characters, and seeing them come to blows over real, human conflict is just the kind of sting that only a dozen films worth of set-up and character development can really achieve. Thor: Ragnarok might be fun, The Winter Soldier might be expertly crafted, and Black Panther might have a strong thematic issue at its core. But when I think of just what the Marvel Cinematic Universe can be at its best, and the kind of expert films that only they could possibly craft, Captain America: Civil War absolutely takes the cake.
…But will The Russo Brothers once again be able to top themselves yet again with Avengers: Infinity War? We shall find out this weekend but, if this list is any indication, they have their work cut out for them. That’s just how consistently good the MCU movies are, at the end of the day — they truly make up a league of their own in the world of crowd-pleasing blockbusters. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Also published on Medium.
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