Uh-Oh, Hollywood Is Letting David S. Goyer Direct Movies Again

Recently (and by that, I mean this week), I have tried to institute a self-quota of one article a day for Freshly Popped Culture. It usually isn’t that much of a struggle to find things to write about (there’s plenty to talk about in the world right now, that’s for sure), but sometimes I run into the problem that I have too many options to chose from. Going into today, that was the case, with a few little news pieces of interest competing for a write-up. But, ultimately, I had to resort to the subject that could best fulfill one of my favorite pastimes: ragging on one David S. Goyer.

Clearly, I am not a huge fan of the guy’s work, and have talked about my disdain for his writing quite liberallly. It’s not that he’s the worst writer in the world — he isn’t. But he isn’t particularly good either, which makes it irritating to see him given the keys to the kingdom to so many big properties. Batman AND Superman AND Green Lantern AND Blade AND Terminator AND Ghost Rider AND Sandman AND Jumper. Jumper, of all properties! Clearly Hollywood loves the guy, and even after the one-two punch of Man of Steel/Batman v Superman, is more than eager to give him work.

But, at the very least, at least most of that work was in the realm of screenwriting, where another co-writer and/or skilled director can take his rough scripts and make them better (see: Batman Begins and Blade II.) But Goyer, the mega-successful screenwriter he is, has dabbled in directing before. His time in that field was far less successful, however, with works like Blade: Trinity, The Invisible, and Unborn proving to be critical and commercial flops. Collectively, the trio has an average Rotten Tomatoes score of 18%, which goes to show how shoddy his directorial efforts have been. After such terrible quality films, it makes sense that Goyer would go on to get lesser and lesser work.

Ha, just kidding! He’s a white male and works in Hollywood, so he was still given all the opportunities in the world to succeed, being gifted the keys to so many DC properties. Those were pretty much destined to suceed even if they were bad…until Batman v. Superman happened, at least, which was so bad that even it struggled to do well. It’s what really led to the slow box office downfall of the DC Cinematic Universe (as now seen by Justice League), and with Goyer having a piece of the disastrous pie, it should be no surprise that opportunities began to slow for him.

We can’t know for sure who was responsible for this (between Snyder, Goyer, and Chris Terrio), but if there’s even a 1% chance Goyer had a role, we must treat it as a certainty.

NOPE, JUST KIDDING AGAIN! He was given Green Lantern Corps, a Superman show set on Krypton, a role in the writer’s room for the new Terminator movie, and a gig writing the script for He-Man adaptation Masters of the Universe. But even with all the opportunity, directing seemed like a faraway concept for Goyer.  And after his poor showing with the gig previously, why wouldn’t it be? But considering how talented Goyer is at failing upwards, it was only a matter of time before film directing came back into the picture for him. And who else but Sony “Hey, The People Want A Mobius The Vampire Movie, Right? Pictures to finally give Goyer a way out of director’s jail.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Goyer has earned himself a nifty little promotion on Masters of the Universe, going from the writer of the film to directing it as well. And well that’s not great news…I mean, it’s ONLY Masters of the Universe. The long-in-development reboot of the 80’s franchise didn’t have much of a chance to be great anyways, so Goyer going completely in on it isn’t the worst news in the world. Hell, if it keeps him away from helming every other big geek property in Hollywood (which I’m sure he’s been offered quite a few of), then this is probably a net positive overall.

Like this, but CGI-ier.

Either way, I wouldn’t get your hopes up about this movie. With a new release date of December 2019, Sony very much seems to be rushing this project out of development hell, the next step in their ongoing company plan entitled “FUCK FUCK JUST MAKE ANYTHING THAT COULD BE A FRANCHISE, FUCK!!” Considering past examples of that plan (The Dark Tower, Ghostbusters, The Amazing Spider-Man, etc.) the odds don’t look great on this being a worthwhile endeavour. Goyer taking full control of it only makes that a guaranteed.